We have reached the half-way mark to finishing treatment! We are so blessed each day for the amazing doctors in College Station- because we all know Lar would HATE having to drive to Houston each day for treatment. Radiation is 5 days a week- 5 days that really knock it out of him- but man is he strong! Since the surgery, and due to all the medication he is taking, Dad can be very tired during the day- although he always manages to find strength to be up and going when I come home from work Monday-Thursday and ask about MY day and how I am doing. This man is so focused on everyone else that it completely blows my mind, and it makes me see what true love really looks like.
Before my Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer I wasn't aware of the different colors for each type of cancer, except for the popular pink for breast cancer, but now- now grey has a completely different meaning to me.
It all started when my sister had a grey bracelet on that said "No One Fights Alone" and "Cure Brain Cancer". I realized this was such a great reminder to have- to remind myself that someone is fighting a harder battle than I am and to send a quick prayer that today goes well for my Dad. Sure Lance Armstrong seemed to make the yellow "Livestrong" bracelets pretty popular, and I too jumped on that trend years ago, but now I wear my grey bracelet for a different reason- My Dad. We sent some to an organization that is very near and dear to my entire family's heart- FCCLA. We wanted each State and Regional Officer- including their Advisor- to have a bracelet to remind them of my Dad's fight. We also purchased more to give to family and friends. Many of my friends from college wanted one- friends who now live all over the state, and some of these friends may have never met my Dad. But rarely does anyone know me and not know of Lar! I ALWAYS have a story to tell about Lar to friends or co-workers, because Lar and I have a very unique relationship:
Lar: "Whitney what happened to your car?"
Me: "Well, I may or may not have hit a raccoon."
Lar: "Whitney, you either did or you didn't."
Me: "Ok, then I definitely hit that raccoon."
$300 later- Lar wasn't too happy, but I remind him now how funny that story is. Maybe not $300 funny, but it is still funny.
I recently told Dad about buying these bracelets and people wearing them- people he may have never met, or briefly met during my time at Texas A&M- and he teared up. He kept saying he couldn't believe people were doing that, wearing those because of him. It truly touched him and me as well- as I LOVE getting pictures of friends and family wearing the bracelets. We are all fighting this together, as the bracelet says, "No One Fights Alone".
I read a devotional daily, and it's amazing how PERFECT they fit what is going on in my life at that moment:
"How precious are my children who remember to thank me at all times. They can walk through the darkest days with joy in their hearts because they know that the light of my presence is still shining on them."
There is so much unknown going forward, and most of the time it is the unknown that we fear the most. Being thankful each and every day has helped me to find this inner strength- and as I tell my mom during moments of weakness- "Fear can keep us up all night, but FAITH makes one great pillow."
Keep the prayers, thoughts, all of it coming to Dad- we are truly feeling the love!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Dad Update 11/25/2013
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and this year there seems to be an entirely new perspective on the holiday. For the first time, in as long as I can remember, I am taking this time to be extremely thankful for everything. From the outside looking in, many people may look at our situation as difficult, sad and, downright unfair. And sure, from the outside looking in all those things are true, but being on the inside- people couldn't be more wrong.
From the inside looking out I have realized how blessed we really are- how blessed I am for an amazing Mom and Dad, an unbelievable support system of family and friends, and how thankful I am for my faith. Mom and I sit down many of nights while my Dad is getting ready for bed and we talk, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, but every night we talk about how blessed we are and we give thanks. You see, my Dad did not just have one surgery on October 16th, he had two. One to remove the tumor, the other due to a bleed in his brain...a bleed that we were not sure would stop. And not only did they have to remove the tumor that day, but also a massive blood clot. So massive that the fact he did not have a stroke prior to the surgery is unknown to doctors. My Dad is clearly a fighter. His attitude is amazing and his oncologist has even said "How can you not have a positive outcome with an attitude like that?" And she's right. Regardless of the outcome, regardless of how well his body is handling the treatment, I've been able to spend everyday with him. All of those moments- taking him to radiation every Friday, cooking dinner at night, or watching Aggie football on a Saturday- can never be taken away from me. These moments I cherish, treasure and love- there isn't anywhere else I would rather be than hanging out on the couch with my Dad.
Dad initially started going to physical therapy twice a week- although he was determined to do all the exercises at home and regain his strength quickly! As of today, he will no longer have to go to physical therapy- we are all thrilled! Speech therapy has been increased to three times a week. Dad is DETERMINED to get people's names correct, and I have all the faith in the world that he will. He gets a little frustrated at times, although I like to remind him of one of my favorite stories while he was in ICU:
Speech Therapist: "Name this object." (Points to tv)
My Dad described the object, although was not able to name the actual object.
Speech Therapist: "Clearly, he will need speech therapy."
Me: "Ma'am, he knows my name- so I don't give a s*** if he can't tell you that's a tv."
Clearly my language shows it had been a long week, and clearly we did not select that lady to be our speech therapist. Regardless, Dad knows my name, my mom's name, and all of my sisters- for that, we are blessed.
He's come such a long way, and daily we struggle to get back to how things were before- and eventually we will. But there are a lot of things that this experience has done to change ME- and for that I will forever be thankful. We thank God everyday for the seizure, which helped us to identify the tumor. Sure, this is a difficult path, and sometimes we laugh and other times we just cry- but at the end of the day I truly believe it will all be ok. Not sure what "ok" will look like, but for right now I look at each day and realize that a good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often and realize how blessed you are.
And we are blessed. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, cards, food and kind words- we can feel and Dad can feel it even more!
From the inside looking out I have realized how blessed we really are- how blessed I am for an amazing Mom and Dad, an unbelievable support system of family and friends, and how thankful I am for my faith. Mom and I sit down many of nights while my Dad is getting ready for bed and we talk, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, but every night we talk about how blessed we are and we give thanks. You see, my Dad did not just have one surgery on October 16th, he had two. One to remove the tumor, the other due to a bleed in his brain...a bleed that we were not sure would stop. And not only did they have to remove the tumor that day, but also a massive blood clot. So massive that the fact he did not have a stroke prior to the surgery is unknown to doctors. My Dad is clearly a fighter. His attitude is amazing and his oncologist has even said "How can you not have a positive outcome with an attitude like that?" And she's right. Regardless of the outcome, regardless of how well his body is handling the treatment, I've been able to spend everyday with him. All of those moments- taking him to radiation every Friday, cooking dinner at night, or watching Aggie football on a Saturday- can never be taken away from me. These moments I cherish, treasure and love- there isn't anywhere else I would rather be than hanging out on the couch with my Dad.
Dad initially started going to physical therapy twice a week- although he was determined to do all the exercises at home and regain his strength quickly! As of today, he will no longer have to go to physical therapy- we are all thrilled! Speech therapy has been increased to three times a week. Dad is DETERMINED to get people's names correct, and I have all the faith in the world that he will. He gets a little frustrated at times, although I like to remind him of one of my favorite stories while he was in ICU:
Speech Therapist: "Name this object." (Points to tv)
My Dad described the object, although was not able to name the actual object.
Speech Therapist: "Clearly, he will need speech therapy."
Me: "Ma'am, he knows my name- so I don't give a s*** if he can't tell you that's a tv."
Clearly my language shows it had been a long week, and clearly we did not select that lady to be our speech therapist. Regardless, Dad knows my name, my mom's name, and all of my sisters- for that, we are blessed.
He's come such a long way, and daily we struggle to get back to how things were before- and eventually we will. But there are a lot of things that this experience has done to change ME- and for that I will forever be thankful. We thank God everyday for the seizure, which helped us to identify the tumor. Sure, this is a difficult path, and sometimes we laugh and other times we just cry- but at the end of the day I truly believe it will all be ok. Not sure what "ok" will look like, but for right now I look at each day and realize that a good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often and realize how blessed you are.
And we are blessed. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, cards, food and kind words- we can feel and Dad can feel it even more!
Friday, November 22, 2013
My Dad's Fight- Intro
My Dad has brain cancer- more specifically, Glioblastoma. I have refused to research this type of cancer/tumor specifically, as I know that if I researched Tylenol enough I would be terrified of the medicine. I do know small details regarding this type of tumor: It is extremely aggressive, more common than you would think, and not genetic.
No one knows why this type of cancer appears, although they have found it occurs in mostly males, around my Dad's age. My Dad's first, and one of his only questions regarding this type of cancer, was "Can I give this to my girls?"
Our battle has only been going since October 5, 2013- the day my Dad experienced a seizure in our kitchen...the day that changed all of our lives. I don't remember much of my life prior to the seizure, the diagnosis, the surgery or the start of treatment. I do know my life was centered around myself- what could make ME happy,making more money, and having a good time. But things change, people change, and you really find out what is important in life.
I want people to know how my Dad has changed my life, my family's life, and the daily struggles (and triumphs) we all experience. He has no idea I'm writing this blog, but I'm sure one day I will share it with him, share with him how he's been the most influential person in my life. He always told me "You'll never find a man as good as your Daddy." He's probably right.
No one knows why this type of cancer appears, although they have found it occurs in mostly males, around my Dad's age. My Dad's first, and one of his only questions regarding this type of cancer, was "Can I give this to my girls?"
Our battle has only been going since October 5, 2013- the day my Dad experienced a seizure in our kitchen...the day that changed all of our lives. I don't remember much of my life prior to the seizure, the diagnosis, the surgery or the start of treatment. I do know my life was centered around myself- what could make ME happy,making more money, and having a good time. But things change, people change, and you really find out what is important in life.
I want people to know how my Dad has changed my life, my family's life, and the daily struggles (and triumphs) we all experience. He has no idea I'm writing this blog, but I'm sure one day I will share it with him, share with him how he's been the most influential person in my life. He always told me "You'll never find a man as good as your Daddy." He's probably right.
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