In the video posted by the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation, a doctor at the Mischer Neuroscience Institute states, "We don't have a cure for Glioblastoma as of today, but by doing this, it gives them a mental boost, which you don't get from the drugs. They walk away today feeling encouraged and inspired."
I can't express enough how true those words are, how much of a mental boost we received last year from the Run For The Rose, how much encouragement we received at just our first trip to the run.
And this year, this year we've almost doubled the number of people joining us for Team: BTHO Brain Cancer- which means we've doubled the number of people that will bring encouragement and inspiration to so many other brain cancer fighters and families. It helps you feel as though you aren't alone in your journey, this run helps so many families, just like mine, realize that there are so many people who are willing to take time out of their day, and money out of their pocket for something that means more to you than they could ever know.
The mental boost. The encouragement. The inspiration.
This last week has been very difficult in our family, that I can not deny. I've had many sleepless nights, many days filled with tears and feeling just down. We've been comfortable this last year with our treatment options- Avastin and chemotherapy. We've been comfortable with our plan, and God has without a doubt thrown us for a little loop, a bump in the road.
To say I don't have fear of another stroke, a much bigger stroke, after last week, would be a lie. I do have this fear, and I'm so desperately trying to rid my thoughts of this fear. But it lives there. Along with the fear of leaving town, being too far away if something bad were to happen again. I think it will take longer than a week to rid my mind and thoughts of this fear, and I think this is completely normal. Yes, I am a Christian. I have very strong faith in a much greater power controlling it all, but I am human.
I like control. I like planning. I like knowing. And right now, my life is lacking all three of those things.
But as a Christian, I have turned to this higher power. My talks with God were very dark and filled with pain this last week. My talks with God were not of praise, but of dislike in our journey, dislike in our path.
I've moved from the hate, dark and pain, and attempted to find the good in this little bump in the road. It's when I realized that the Run For The Rose is closely approaching, and again, I remembered how perfect God's timing really is.
This event is coming at the absolute perfect time, a time where my family could use the encouragement and inspiration provided during this one day event. A time where my family can look around and think "Wow, all of these people are here for something that means so much to us!"
I would love to see each of you at the Run For The Rose, flooding the course and the event with our maroon shirts, and supporting so many families on their path to fight brain cancer.
There is still time to join our team, make a donation, or purchase a Team: BTHO Brain Cancer t-shirt. Visit our team website below, or email me with any questions you may have (glenzwhitney@gmail.com).
http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
We knew our path to beat brain cancer would not be easy, and these last 17 months have proven just that, but we've been given the gift of so many wonderful friends and family on our journey- and for that, we are blessed.
Continue praying, as we continue fighting, to BTHO Brain Cancer!
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Quick Update. Oncology Appointment 3/24/2015
Our appointment is done, and we are left with lots of questions, and not a lot of answers. We still aren't 100% sure what Dad experienced on Thursday- it could have been a TIA (mini-stroke), swelling in the brain, or brain exhaustion/fatigue. We really don't know. What we do know, is Dad's treatment (Avastin) can cause mini-strokes and major strokes, which makes us extra cautious about continuing the Avastin. So this round of treatment is on hold, the Avastin that is, as Dad is still on chemo this week, and we will repeat the MRI in a couple of weeks to determine if the images show a stroke occurred or if there is any tumor growth. From there, we will determine our next steps and move forward.
On a positive note, I asked our Oncologist to explain Dad's MRI, what exactly the scan looked like, as when I read the MRI results I swear it's in another language. She said the images appear to be scar tissue and old blood, as the area where the tumor was located is not "lighting up" like it would if it were actual cancer growth. Which is great news! We are praying the next MRI gives us more confidence in the direction we should go with Dad's treatment. Until then, Dad is planning to rest and fight through this difficult week of chemo.
Thanks for all the continued thoughts and prayers throughout our journey, especially in these last few days.
On a positive note, I asked our Oncologist to explain Dad's MRI, what exactly the scan looked like, as when I read the MRI results I swear it's in another language. She said the images appear to be scar tissue and old blood, as the area where the tumor was located is not "lighting up" like it would if it were actual cancer growth. Which is great news! We are praying the next MRI gives us more confidence in the direction we should go with Dad's treatment. Until then, Dad is planning to rest and fight through this difficult week of chemo.
Thanks for all the continued thoughts and prayers throughout our journey, especially in these last few days.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Right Where I Need To Be. Dad Update 3/19/2015
The call. The gut wrenching phone call when you're miles away that leaves you with tears in your eyes and the feeling of helplessness. That's exactly what happened this morning. That's exactly what changed my plans and left me right where I need to be. Home.
I got a call this morning letting me know something was off with Dad, letting me know that all of Dad's symptoms lead us to believe Dad was experiencing a stroke. My heart sank. I was in New Orleans celebrating a friend's birthday, I was miles away and hours from seeing my Dad. So I did what anyone would do in my situation, I booked a flight home and started to pray. The flight seemed to take forever, and for that hour I felt completely removed from it all- I couldn't get a text or call letting me know how the appointment was going or how the MRI looked. I felt helpless.
I got a call this morning letting me know something was off with Dad, letting me know that all of Dad's symptoms lead us to believe Dad was experiencing a stroke. My heart sank. I was in New Orleans celebrating a friend's birthday, I was miles away and hours from seeing my Dad. So I did what anyone would do in my situation, I booked a flight home and started to pray. The flight seemed to take forever, and for that hour I felt completely removed from it all- I couldn't get a text or call letting me know how the appointment was going or how the MRI looked. I felt helpless.
Numerous phone calls with my family, and I still feel bad for the young man on the plane next to me, who sat so calmly as I was on the phone until the moment we took off, cried during most of the flight, and immediately started calling my sister when we landed.
Between phone calls home and text messages trying to understand what was going on, my Facebook was flooded with prayers and comments. I debated making that post. I debated if I thought everyone should know what was going on, and then I realized the more people that know, the more prayers that will be sent to Dad- and we needed all the prayers we could get.
I finally landed and, thankfully, my cousin was going to Brenham tonight from Houston and was able to take me home- God's perfect timing. As I rode to Brenham, I rambled on and discussed the concerns of Dad's condition. If this was a stroke, will the side effects reverse? How severe of a stroke was this? Is this a side effect of tumor re-growth? Oh I know I must have rambled on, but how thankful I was for a cousin who listened, and then managed to distract me with talks of her dog's allergies and having her fiancé pick up Benadryl. It was more than needed in those moments before I received the MRI results.
The MRI results came in and it was the best case scenario. I'm still trying to understand it all, but slowly I'm learning the language of all these medical terms! The MRI did not indicate a bleed or a stroke, although this does not mean a small stroke did not occur, it just means the MRI did not show anything- and that was good news. The MRI also did not show any tumor re-growth, which is more good news! So now, we are home, we are scheduling follow up appointments with both our Nuerosurgeon and our Oncologist in about a week and continuing on our treatment plan.
What a day it has been! Our faith has once again been tested and we were faced with another bump in the road with our battle against cancer. As much as I hated having to leave my girls in New Orleans, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here right now. I'm right where I need to be- with Mom and Dad.
Asking for continued prayers for both Mom and Dad- as the caregivers also struggle and need continued prayers during this fight. Dad is strong and determined, and I have no doubt he will continue doing well- just need to get over this little bump in the road.
On my flight home, I pulled out a book for a distraction and read something so perfect, something I so badly needed to read:
"If our hard is the absence of a good God, then how can anyone walk in faith?"
Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Shaking My Fist. Dad Update 3/12/2015
I was reminded once again of those wonderful words: "Coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous." As I find it no coincidence that I came across a Facebook page for a woman so bravely battling cancer, and I realized it was the same woman who's open letter I read to Brittany Maynard (the young lady who ended her life after a brain cancer diagnosis), in which I felt as though she took some of the words right out of my heart.
I finally made the connection. I finally realized that the story of Kara Tippetts is one that I can relate to in many way, as I know the fear of hearing "terminal cancer".
Kara so beautifully states, "The world says I should be angry, that I should be shaking my fist at God. But I wanted them to share this story, that suffering isn't a mistake, and it isn't the absence of God's goodness, because he's present in pain."
I can not deny my own shaking of fist at God during those first couple of weeks after Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. I remember so many nights where I would have long conversations with God, and with tears in my eyes I would question why he would do something like this to MY Dad. Why he would hurt MY family. Why he would give us a path as difficult as cancer.
My conversations started with hate, and with tears in my eyes, they ended with thankfulness. I can't explain how the hate turned into something so positive, but what I can explain is the overwhelming amount of comfort I have when times are difficult, and I know there is someone so much greater controlling it all. Someone who I can talk to at any moment. Someone who listens to me through the tears. Someone who provides strength, in moments where my body and mind are filled with fear. I do not wish for anyone to be on a path like ours, one filled with ups and downs, good and bad days, and moments where the world does seem to be falling apart, but through the difficult moments, through the moments where it all seems to be going wrong- we see the glimpse of hope, faith and trust in this journey. We realize that God picked MY family for this journey. He felt as though MY family was strong enough to battle this storm. He felt as though MY family has the hope, faith and trust to take something so difficult, and turn it into something positive.
Conversations have been made lately among friends, where we've discussed the "what if" we didn't believe. We discussed trying to understand those who do not have a relationship with God. We discussed trying to understand what could cause us to continuously shake our fist at God, instead of seeing the beauty in our suffering.
It's something I'm not sure I will ever understand. And I'm ok with that. I don't think I ever want to know a life that doesn't involve my faith. It's this faith that has helped me find joy in the good days, and joy in the more difficult days. It's this faith that has helped us to not fear bad news, but TRUST the Lord to care for us. It's this faith that helped me survive these last 17 months.
Kara continues to write in her blog, "Maybe I'm on a journey, and the journey is more beautiful than any of us can comprehend. " And I think she's right. What a beautiful journey we've been on.
Dad had another appointment with his Oncologist, Dr. Fleener, on Tuesday and she is so thrilled with how well he is doing. We have scheduled another MRI in about a month. We are so incredibly hopeful that the treatments have continued to work to stop any tumor growth! Dad's last round of chemo was really tough, and after talking with Dr. Fleener, she feels as though this is just a cumulative effect of the drugs on Dad's body. So for now, we work on stopping the side effects before they start. We are so hopeful that if Dad's next MRI looks good, we can discuss reducing treatments and having more time between MRI's. We are so so so incredibly hopeful!
I can't say enough wonderful things about Dad's doctor, Dr. Fleener. I feel as though God so perfectly put her in our path. I joke often that she is the 4th daughter in our family, as we have come to love her as if she is a Glenz. We trust her judgment, and more importantly, Dad trust her. She ends Dad's appointment with giving him a hug, and telling him she loves him. We are so blessed to have found her and all of the nurses at the Cancer Clinic in Bryan.
'Run For The Rose' Update: We currently have 84 team members and have raised $3,805 towards brain cancer research. Talk about a FULL heart! I just know that in my lifetime I will see a CURE, and I will be able to witness other families receive a diagnosis of brain cancer and be filled with FAITH for healing.
Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer
Run For The Rose: If you would you like to join our team or make a donation, please visit our team page http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer. If you have any questions or would like to purchase a 'Team Lar' t-shirt, please send me an email (glenzwhitney@gmail.com).
I finally made the connection. I finally realized that the story of Kara Tippetts is one that I can relate to in many way, as I know the fear of hearing "terminal cancer".
Kara so beautifully states, "The world says I should be angry, that I should be shaking my fist at God. But I wanted them to share this story, that suffering isn't a mistake, and it isn't the absence of God's goodness, because he's present in pain."
I can not deny my own shaking of fist at God during those first couple of weeks after Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. I remember so many nights where I would have long conversations with God, and with tears in my eyes I would question why he would do something like this to MY Dad. Why he would hurt MY family. Why he would give us a path as difficult as cancer.
My conversations started with hate, and with tears in my eyes, they ended with thankfulness. I can't explain how the hate turned into something so positive, but what I can explain is the overwhelming amount of comfort I have when times are difficult, and I know there is someone so much greater controlling it all. Someone who I can talk to at any moment. Someone who listens to me through the tears. Someone who provides strength, in moments where my body and mind are filled with fear. I do not wish for anyone to be on a path like ours, one filled with ups and downs, good and bad days, and moments where the world does seem to be falling apart, but through the difficult moments, through the moments where it all seems to be going wrong- we see the glimpse of hope, faith and trust in this journey. We realize that God picked MY family for this journey. He felt as though MY family was strong enough to battle this storm. He felt as though MY family has the hope, faith and trust to take something so difficult, and turn it into something positive.
Conversations have been made lately among friends, where we've discussed the "what if" we didn't believe. We discussed trying to understand those who do not have a relationship with God. We discussed trying to understand what could cause us to continuously shake our fist at God, instead of seeing the beauty in our suffering.
It's something I'm not sure I will ever understand. And I'm ok with that. I don't think I ever want to know a life that doesn't involve my faith. It's this faith that has helped me find joy in the good days, and joy in the more difficult days. It's this faith that has helped us to not fear bad news, but TRUST the Lord to care for us. It's this faith that helped me survive these last 17 months.
Kara continues to write in her blog, "Maybe I'm on a journey, and the journey is more beautiful than any of us can comprehend. " And I think she's right. What a beautiful journey we've been on.
Dad had another appointment with his Oncologist, Dr. Fleener, on Tuesday and she is so thrilled with how well he is doing. We have scheduled another MRI in about a month. We are so incredibly hopeful that the treatments have continued to work to stop any tumor growth! Dad's last round of chemo was really tough, and after talking with Dr. Fleener, she feels as though this is just a cumulative effect of the drugs on Dad's body. So for now, we work on stopping the side effects before they start. We are so hopeful that if Dad's next MRI looks good, we can discuss reducing treatments and having more time between MRI's. We are so so so incredibly hopeful!
I can't say enough wonderful things about Dad's doctor, Dr. Fleener. I feel as though God so perfectly put her in our path. I joke often that she is the 4th daughter in our family, as we have come to love her as if she is a Glenz. We trust her judgment, and more importantly, Dad trust her. She ends Dad's appointment with giving him a hug, and telling him she loves him. We are so blessed to have found her and all of the nurses at the Cancer Clinic in Bryan.
'Run For The Rose' Update: We currently have 84 team members and have raised $3,805 towards brain cancer research. Talk about a FULL heart! I just know that in my lifetime I will see a CURE, and I will be able to witness other families receive a diagnosis of brain cancer and be filled with FAITH for healing.
Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer
Run For The Rose: If you would you like to join our team or make a donation, please visit our team page http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer. If you have any questions or would like to purchase a 'Team Lar' t-shirt, please send me an email (glenzwhitney@gmail.com).
Thursday, March 5, 2015
The Ladybug: 17 Months (3/5/3015)
Last week, in the midst of feeling frustrated, upset and just down about Dad's battle, something caught my eye. A ladybug.
It was chemo week for Dad. Which means each night he takes those dreaded pills and heads to bed, praying the side effects of the chemo won't show their ugly face. Although last week, the side effects were coming in loud and clear.
Dad hides the pain and frustration so incredibly well, although I can see right through his response of "I'm fine." He's in pain. He's feeling weak, tired and not well, and that all continues to break my heart.
As I was getting ready for bed, I heard a buzz by my ear and turned to see a ladybug sitting on the wall. I thought this was a bit strange, as I'm pretty sure ladybugs aren't just everywhere in the winter, but sure enough, there one was. I'm such a big believer in signs and messages from others who have passed- call me crazy if you'd like, but they seem to come exactly when I need them, and they continue to bring me great comfort.
I immediately Googled the meaning behind a ladybug, as I've always heard different things- ranging from bringing good luck, to bringing love, or meaning a loved one is thinking of you. But the first link I clicked on read:
"This tiny little beetle brings with it a powerful message. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest. When it appears in our life it is telling us to 'let go and let God.' Seen often as a messenger of promise, the ladybug reconnects us with the joy of living. Fear and joy can not co-exist. We need to release our fears and return to love. Ladybug teaches us how to restore our trust and faith in the great spirit. When the ladybug appears, it is telling us to get our of our own way and allow the great spirit to enter into our lives."
And then of course I pull out my devotional for the day and read:
"I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through the day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy- even precarious. That is how it should be...Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repeat and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trust Me to open up the way before you as you go."
So call me crazy, but I find so much comfort in the things that seem to be coincidence in life. I mean, I've always read that coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous.
Today marks 17 months on our journey against brain cancer, and Mom and Dad's 32nd wedding anniversary. To say these two have lived up to their vows would be an understatement, as I've been able to witness first hand their love and support for one another through better or for worse, and in sickness and in health. They continue to inspire me each and every day!
The treatments continue for Dad, yes even 17 months out and after a good MRI, we still take chemo and Avastin. This will continue for some time, as that is just the nature of this beast we are fighting. But we continue to fight each day, some days better than others, but each day a true gift.
We've currently raised $3,385 and have 75 members on our team for the upcoming 'Run For The Rose'. Our hearts are so incredibly full! Thank you all for your continued love and support on our journey. There is still time to join our team, make a donation or purchase a "Team Lar" t-shirt. Please visit the link below, or email me (glenzwhitney@gmail.com) with any questions you may have.
http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!
It was chemo week for Dad. Which means each night he takes those dreaded pills and heads to bed, praying the side effects of the chemo won't show their ugly face. Although last week, the side effects were coming in loud and clear.
Dad hides the pain and frustration so incredibly well, although I can see right through his response of "I'm fine." He's in pain. He's feeling weak, tired and not well, and that all continues to break my heart.
As I was getting ready for bed, I heard a buzz by my ear and turned to see a ladybug sitting on the wall. I thought this was a bit strange, as I'm pretty sure ladybugs aren't just everywhere in the winter, but sure enough, there one was. I'm such a big believer in signs and messages from others who have passed- call me crazy if you'd like, but they seem to come exactly when I need them, and they continue to bring me great comfort.
I immediately Googled the meaning behind a ladybug, as I've always heard different things- ranging from bringing good luck, to bringing love, or meaning a loved one is thinking of you. But the first link I clicked on read:
"This tiny little beetle brings with it a powerful message. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest. When it appears in our life it is telling us to 'let go and let God.' Seen often as a messenger of promise, the ladybug reconnects us with the joy of living. Fear and joy can not co-exist. We need to release our fears and return to love. Ladybug teaches us how to restore our trust and faith in the great spirit. When the ladybug appears, it is telling us to get our of our own way and allow the great spirit to enter into our lives."
And then of course I pull out my devotional for the day and read:
"I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through the day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy- even precarious. That is how it should be...Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repeat and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trust Me to open up the way before you as you go."
So call me crazy, but I find so much comfort in the things that seem to be coincidence in life. I mean, I've always read that coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous.
Today marks 17 months on our journey against brain cancer, and Mom and Dad's 32nd wedding anniversary. To say these two have lived up to their vows would be an understatement, as I've been able to witness first hand their love and support for one another through better or for worse, and in sickness and in health. They continue to inspire me each and every day!
The treatments continue for Dad, yes even 17 months out and after a good MRI, we still take chemo and Avastin. This will continue for some time, as that is just the nature of this beast we are fighting. But we continue to fight each day, some days better than others, but each day a true gift.
We've currently raised $3,385 and have 75 members on our team for the upcoming 'Run For The Rose'. Our hearts are so incredibly full! Thank you all for your continued love and support on our journey. There is still time to join our team, make a donation or purchase a "Team Lar" t-shirt. Please visit the link below, or email me (glenzwhitney@gmail.com) with any questions you may have.
http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)