National Caregivers Month.

November is 'National Caregivers Month'. And I thought, in a month where we focus on being THANKFUL for so many things, it seems like a pretty perfect time to share how thankful I am for Dad's caregiver- my Mom. 

When I was just 10 years old I watched the battle against cancer through my Granny's eyes. I watched as cancer took her hair, her strength, and her energy. I watched, not fully understanding what cancer really was, or what her treatments involved, but I watched because my parents did not want us to be sheltered to that fight. And today, I'm so incredibly thankful for that. 

I watched as my Mom and my Aunt took turns staying with my Granny at night during those difficult days. I watched as they loved and cared for their mom throughout some of the darkest of hours, and I watched as they did this with unconditional love. 

I learned from both my Mom and my Aunt, even at age 10, what it meant to be there for those you love, to do for others "just because", and what it meant to lean on faith during difficult times. I learned what it meant to be a caregiver. 

And now, 17 years later I'm watching as an adult, who still doesn't fully understand the WHY in it all, but I'm watching with open eyes and such a full heart as Mom cares for my Dad. 

It's not just cooking meals, or helping with the yard, those things are wonderful and Mom goes above and beyond to do things around the house that Dad once did, because sometimes he just isn't feeling well enough to do those things- but it's the late nights when he's not feeling well, or just staying positive when it seems like all the odds are against us. 

She is selfless and strong. She is relentless and faithful. 

I think that Granny's battle 17 years ago really prepared Mom, and our entire family, for this journey. I think seeing my Mom and Aunt as amazing caregivers throughout her cancer journey, prepared me to know what cancer looked like- and sometimes it's so incredibly ugly. 

But I have always said there is beauty in our journey. And I know for a fact I wouldn't see this beauty without my incredibly strong, faithful and determined Mom. She has stood by Dad through some of our darkest days, and she continues to stand strong next to Dad on the journey ahead. 

So this month, I want to thank my Mom and Aunt for showing me what a wonderful caregiver looks like- someone who is selfless, faithful, and strong. And this month, I want to especially thank my Mom for all the sacrifices she has made these last 2 years- from the sleepless nights, to the early morning appointments, and everything in between- she's been the rock of our family, the faithful leader we all look up to, and the strength we all need (especially Dad) to beat this disease. 

Thank you to all the wonderful caregivers out there!

Dad Update: Chemo week is almost complete- and once again these two have handled it with so much beauty and grace. I'm so proud of both of them throughout this journey. 

Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!

Chemo Week. Dad Update 11/3/2015

Chemo week has started for Dad, and the look on his face when he's reminded that he will be taking those pills for 5 consecutive nights absolutely breaks my heart. I wish there was a way I could take away his pain, the side effects, and the discouragement of chemo week. But unfortunately, I can't take away his treatment option- as it's been working so well these last 2 years to stop any tumor growth- but what I can do is to try to make him smile. I can try to help him look forward to each day, even if that day involves more chemotherapy. So, we've started a new tradition (you know us Aggies love tradition!) for Dad's chemo week....

Each day of the week, Dad gets a letter with some sort of "treat". These treats range from $5 movie gift cards, to having the house cleaned, or even a trip to HEB to pick up groceries for the week. Just something that makes life a little bit easier for both him and Mom, and something that I know Dad will appreciate. 

Here's an example of a little note Dad might get from me:

"You’re almost done with this month’s test,
Chemo week has us all very stressed.

But once again, you’ve handled it all with pure grace,
And dinner’s on me, you just name the place!"

The laugh and smile I get from that little note, and a little gift, makes me feel like I'm able to help Dad during these weeks. 

I wish I could say that chemo week got easier on Dad, but really the side effects become more cumulative as the treatments continue- meaning, the side effects continue to get more difficult to manage. But we try our best, and we constantly are trying different suggestions from Dr. Fleener. Anything to make these weeks just a little less miserable!

I'm so proud of Dad. I'm so proud of his determination and fight. As much as he hates these weeks, we remind him of the WHY in it all. And a big WHY of Dad's fight, is his little grandson, which Mom told me she tells Dad each night he takes chemo, especially when he makes that face of pure hate towards those pills, that he's taking those pills for Luke. 

We celebrated Luke's first Halloween this year, and of course, he had to go Trick-or-Treating to Mutz and Grandpa's house. That little boy has this entire family wrapped around his little finger. 

So what's up ahead of us? We choose to continue to LIVE throughout Dad's terminal diagnosis. We choose to take each day and become better and closer because of it all. Just last night as I stopped by Mom and Dad's to check on them, I watched as my oldest sister, Genna, picked up Luke from their house, and my other sister, Meghan, stopped by to say hi. I joke that their house is now a revolving door- and I don't think my parents would want it any other way. We are all in this together. We are all taking it one step at a time. We are all in this to WIN the battle. 

Dad still continues on his chemotherapy, and (even after 2 years!) is still consistently doing his speech therapy. Talk about a PROUD moment to come home and see him concentrating so hard on his therapy:

It's every day. And it's amazing to see the things he continues to excel in- math skills (which is awesome because he was the one who always helped us with our math homework growing up)! And the areas in which he struggles, but continues to improve each day. His brain is constantly healing, it is constantly working to repair the damage from the surgery, brain bleed, radiation and chemotherapy. 

We have a new normal. Chemotherapy, blood work, MRI's, and Oncology appointments have become our new normal. I ran into one of Dad's Oncology nurses at another doctor's office for my own appointment and when she realized who I was, mainly who my Dad was, she immediately gave me a hug and kept telling me how much she adored my Dad. And what a wonderful patient he has been. 

I will never fully understand the WHY in Dad's diagnosis, what I have started to understand is the WHY in our journey. Dad's purpose here in this physical world is so much greater than I could have imagined and is greater than I will ever understand. His story, his faith, and his attitude are touching so many throughout this journey, and most of all, I'm so incredibly proud to be his daughter. 

Continuing to pray the treatment is working to prevent any tumor growth, continuing to pray Dad has a good week while on chemotherapy, all while we continue to fight to BTHO Brain Cancer!

Brenham Banner Press. 10/19/2015

I'm so proud that Dad was asked to share a little bit about him and our family to our local paper for a "People Profile". 

http://www.brenhambanner.com/news/glenz-s-battle-with-cancer-a-team-effort/article_a1f2155d-458f-5496-8309-994ce9fa8c37.html?success=2

Another round of chemotherapy is complete, and we focus on the next MRI in November. Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!

Our 2 Year Anniversary. 10/5/2015

I was introduced to the story of Matt Chandler, a pastor in Dallas who was diagnosed with brain cancer over 5 years ago. A different type of tumor than Dad battles, but the fight is so very similar. I found an article where he described how he found purpose in his pain, and I couldn't help but want to share his exact words. I couldn't have said it better myself:

Matt stated, "Now let me be very clear here. I'd much rather bring Him glory by preaching; I'd much rather bring Him glory by driving an '01 Impala that backfires in school zones; I'd much rather bring Him glory by giving away a large part of our income; I'd much rather glorify Him in those ways, than to have brain cancer. But I don't get to choose that."

"It's not punitive; it's not random; and it has not been given to us by God to show us who's boss, Matt says, "There's a purpose in it; there's a limit in it; and in the end, God is not going to give us what He will not sustain us in. And I believe at that moment, the Holy Spirit gives you the power to stand. That's exactly what we found out. And I'm rejoicing in what He's doing in it."

24. 24 months. That's 2 years. Yes 2 years! Dad is a 2 year cancer SURVIVOR. And what an amazing 2 years it has been!

We felt so weighed down in the statistics associated with Dad's cancer. And then we had to remember that every person, every cancer, every situation is unique and different. We knew this was not random, this was not given to us by God to show us who was boss. Instead, we took the statistics and knew that it was not our job to deny the diagnosis, instead, we would fight to defy the verdict. And that's exactly what Dad has done.

The 2 year survival rate of glioblastoma patients is about 25%. That means Dad had a 75% of not being here. And here he stands. 

Nearly 100% of glioblastomas recur, usually within 6-8 months. Dad's tumor has never returned.

The median survival of a glioblastoma patient is 16-19 months. And here we are 24 months later.

We've beat the odds. Dad's strength, determination, and fight has beat the odds. 

The struggles we've faced these last two years. The difficult moments, days, and weeks. The times when we felt as though all hope was lost- where we were forced to turn to a much higher power throughout it all, for we were too weak to fight this battle on our own. We look back now and think, "How the heck did we do it?" How did we handle the surgery and physical therapy, the radiation and chemotherapy together, the nights of concern and worry- how did we manage to continue on?

Faith.

Fear can keep you up all night, but Faith makes one great pillow. 

Continuing to REJOICE on this journey and feeling so incredibly blessed for the love and support shown to my family throughout Dad's battle. If you would have told me this is where we would be 2 years ago sitting in the hospital after Dad's seizure, I would have never imagined it. I could never imagine my heart would be so full of love and support from friends and family. This path, so perfectly created for us, has been more of a blessing than anything, and I am so thankful for each of you who have walked on this path with us.

Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!

On Tuesday we handed out BTHO Brain Cancer t-shirts to the staff, nurses and Dr. Fleener. I can't say enough wonderful things about each person at the Cancer Clinic! We are so blessed that God put us on this path with such wonderful people!

We have another MRI scheduled in November, which will mark 4 months since Dad's last MRI. We continue to take it all one day at a time and be so incredibly thankful for this journey!

My Thank You To Nurses.

With so much media attention on nurses, I couldn't help but think back to our last 2 years of constant appointments and treatments, and be so incredibly blessed for the nurses in my life. So here is my thank you to all the nurses out there, especially those who have helped Dad these last 2 years. 

Dear Nurses,

You have each helped scan, poke, cut and monitor my Dad these last 2 years. From brain surgeries, ICU stays, MRIs, administering treatment, doing blood work, and being my on call for any question or concern- you have handled each situation perfectly, and I thank you for that. 

Thank you to the ICU nurses at St. Joseph's. When our world seemed to be falling apart, and we were sleep deprived from sleeping in the waiting room, you were there to offer kind words and provide care to my Dad. I credit Dad's ICU nurse with saving his life that day in October 2013. That day where the brain surgery was a success and, shortly after, Dad's right arm started appearing very weak. There were no machines that went off, or some sort of test that showed what was happening, just the training of one amazing nurse who noticed a change and called the doctor. We soon realized Dad was having a brain bleed and was quickly rushed back to surgery. That nurse saved Dad's life, and for that there are no words to thank her enough. And to the ICU nurses who allowed us to visit during non-visitation hours to help make Dad more comfortable and to the ICU nurses who loved and cared for my Dad as I would love and care for him, thank you. 

Thank you the Cancer Clinic nurses. To say these nurses have become second family to us would be an understatement. These nurses have answered every call I've had with any question or concern. They have answered some of my difficult questions, where my voice screamed panic and concern, and their response was calming and comforting. I remember that day in March 2014, where we were concerned the cancer had returned. I walked back to the chemotherapy area with tears in my eyes, panic in my heart, and fear overtaking my body- and I wasn't greeted with any cold words or request to "sign in" or provide Dad's information. Instead, I was greeted with a hug and those words I will never forget, "I'm going to take very good care of your Dad." Thank you for providing hope to my family throughout this journey, thank you for providing guidance to me on this path where medical information is so foreign to me, and thank you for providing a hug when I needed it more than I could have ever imagined. Thank you. 

And to my family of nurses- thank you! You answer the calls in the early mornings and late nights, those calls where I'm filled with panic or concerned, and you are calm and reassuring. I'm not sure if nurses take a class on how to remain calm in stressful situations, or if that's just how perfectly God made you for this profession, but how amazing it is that when the world seems to be falling apart, you're right there to help manage the pieces.

And maybe nurses don't hear it enough, but thank you for all that you do each day. Thank you for the sacrifices you make working late, or being on call. You reassure us, you comfort us, and you provide a sense of strength in battles that we do not know how to fight. You become family to many of us, and I hope you see what a blessing that is to many families like mine. 

Continue your passion in helping others, because on the days where nothing seems to go right, on the days where you're tired, burnt out, and frustrated with your profession- know that there are families like mine who pray for people like you. People who provide calm in the storm, people who provide hope when the world seems hopeless, and people who provide care to those we love the most. 

Thank you.

Washington County Fair. Dad Update 9/17/2015

"Nothing can happen without God's permission and God will not allow a difficulty unless He has a divine purpose for it. If you will keep your peace, you'll pass the test, and God will bring you out better than you were before."

Last night Dad made a trip up to the Washington County Fair. This was especially BIG because last week was chemo week for Dad, and what an exceptionally difficult week it was! Dad starts chemo on a Monday and by Wednesday the side effects of the treatment are usually in full force and last until about the next Wednesday, which is why I was thrilled Dad felt good enough last night to come enjoy the fair. 

And this year was also a special year, as it's Luke's first trip to the Washington County Fair! I see lots of fair memories for him in his future. 

Making it to the VIP room to eat is always a challenge, as it seems like Dad is stopped non-stop by others wanting to say hi. Dad put so much of his heart and soul into the Washington County Fair- from serving on committees, to helping so many with their fair projects- he loved every minute of it. I still had to call him after every show yesterday to let him know who won Grand and Reserve and how some of the others placed. It always brings such a big smile to my face when others ask about him or to see the number of people stopping him to say hi- he is loved and prayed for by so many!

So the fair week continues on, and I hope Dad has a few more nights where he can enjoy the fair with friends and family. We never know if Dad will be having a good day or a bad day, but we continue to be so thankful for each day we are given with Dad. 

Thank you to all who have stopped and talked with Dad at the fair and those who continue to ask about him- we are so blessed with an amazing group of friends and family on this journey. 

Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!

23 Months. Dad Update 9/2/2015

"Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending."

Saturday will mark 23 months since Dad's brain cancer diagnosis. I look back at our journey these last 23 months and I think about all the things it's been filled with- frustration, disappointment, tears, and fear. And then I realize it's also been filled with hope, joy, faith, and laughter. 

23 months ago I had so much anger and frustration towards God because I didn't understand our journey. I didn't understand why my Dad was being faced with something as difficult as cancer. What I didn't understand was that it was absolutely ridiculous for me to think that I had the right to limit God to something that I am capable of comprehending. 

And now, 23 months later I still don't fully understand it all. There are still moments and days where I wish things were back to how they were before Dad's diagnosis, but the frustration is gone. The disappointment, tears and fear have become less and less each day. Instead, we are filled even more with hope, joy, faith and laughter. 

Dad finished another round of chemo a couple of weeks ago, and overall, he felt good. Not great, but good. I will happily accept good. And now we put our focus on the events ahead. The Washington County Fair is coming up quickly, and this is always such an important time of year for Dad. We did very well at the fair with both our chickens and our rabbits, and that was a large part to Dad's hard work and dedication. And now, Mom and I serve on the Poultry Committee at the Fair. The Washington County Fair gave so much to my entire family, and it's just a small way for us to give back to it all. A little throwback picture circa 1995, when we won Reserve Grand Champion at the Washington County Fair. Dad is so incredibly proud, and I love that Mom is wearing a t-shirt with chickens on it. Oh I miss the '90s. 

Our next doctor's appointment is scheduled at the end of September, where we will meet with Dr. Fleener and discuss how Dad is doing and schedule our next MRI. To have 3 months between MRI's is just unreal to me, and as much as I love not having to visit the Cancer Clinic as often- it's very strange to me. Some days, I completely forget that Dad is battling against cancer, and what a huge blessing that is for me. I get to forget about the chemo, MRIs, medical bills, and doctor's appointments, and instead, I just get to enjoy my time with Dad. 

Thank you all for the continued love and support you've shown to me and my entire family. I am so thankful that this journey has allowed both myself, and my family, to grow closer in faith, friendship and family. We are better because of it all. 

Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting, to BTHO Brain Cancer!