Trust

Anticipation, anxiety and fear has consumed many of my thoughts lately, as we will know Dad's MRI results on Friday. I know the statistics, I know the odds of the tumor returning, and I also know that the cancer returning would only be a small step back, a bump in this journey. Dad responded really well to the radiation and chemotherapy, as his MRI post treatment looked even better than his MRI post surgery. This gives me hope, although the anticipation, anxiety and fear still remain, and I pray each night for trust- trust in a much higher power, a power greater than any doctor, chemo or other medication. Trust.

Trust has been so difficult for me during this experience, a struggle each day to just TRUST. When I was going through confirmation I selected a verse: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way." It's pretty amazing to me that the one thing I find myself struggling with most is the main focus of a verse I selected when I was in the 8th grade. Coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous. 

It's been no secret this fear and anxiety I have, and it's been no secret that I've praised God throughout this entire journey as well. My daily devotional is really amazing, and it helps remind me of this TRUST. Today's reading, was no exception:
"Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don't let your need to understand distract you from My Presence. I will equip you to get through this day victoriously as you live in deep dependence on Me. Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don't get tangled up in it's worry-webs. Trust Me one day at a time."

One day at a time. That's exactly how we've been taking Dad's diagnosis, his treatment, everything- one day at a time. It hasn't been easy, actually it's been far from easy, it's been downright difficult. But I'm learning to TRUST, trust that everything will work out, trust that God is in control of it all, and trust that no matter what lies ahead, God is already there. 

I can tell Dad is anxious about his next upcoming appointments, and I don't blame him- because I'm right there with him with being anxious! He visits with his Neurosurgeon today to discuss his anti-seizure medication, and (I'm hoping) he decreases this medication even more. Dad still (legally) can not drive until April 5, as it is state law in Texas for anyone who has a seizure to wait 6 months until operating a vehicle. He also will be having blood work done today to prepare for his MRI tomorrow morning. And then we wait. Oh the waiting game. Friday morning we meet with his Oncologist to discuss the results, and as I'm sitting here I continue to pray for good results. 

I try to remind myself:
"They do not fear bad news; they confidently TRUST the Lord to care for them."

Keep the prayers coming for TRUST and good news on Friday!