An Understanding. 1/12/2015

Yesterday I stood next to two incredible women, as we discussed their battles against cancer. And Friday I answered numerous questions about Dad's treatment and side effects, as a wife and mother was diagnosed with the same type of tumor as Dad. During these interactions I realized one thing, we all have this incredible understanding with one another. We just get it. 

An understanding. A mutual agreement between two people. A way of knowing exactly what someone is going through, without even saying a word. 

That's what I've gained these last 15 months. An understanding with so many others.

When Dad as diagnosed with brain cancer, more specifically glioblastoma-multiforme, I literally had no idea what that would involve. I had never heard of anyone with brain cancer, and I sure as heck had never heard of "glioblastoma". I did very little research those first few months, only enough to understand the treatment options and only enough to not scare the ever living life out of me. 

We were blindly finding our way through the battle. We struggled. We failed. And, we are now at a place where we feel like we are succeeding. Not succeeding because Dad's MRI's are stable, succeeding because we are slowly understanding the treatment, the side effects, and options for Dad. I research daily. The statistics no longer scare me. The side effects no longer give me a gut wrenching feeling. Instead, they continue to give me hope. 

Hope because I constantly read stories of survival, hope because I constantly read of clinical trials which are WORKING, and hope because we are not alone- even though we felt so incredibly alone those first few months. 

The struggle we faced those first few months of trying to figure it all out, what an incredible blessing it has all been! Those first few months seem to be a bit of a blur, as I was struggling in so many ways with Dad's battle- trying to regain my faith, trying to come to terms with the word "cancer", and trying to keep it all together for my family. But we've come so far since October 2013, we don't have all the answers, but we have some, and we may not have it all completely figured out, but we are getting better each day. 

The true blessing that we gained those first few months during our struggle, is that now we are able to help others faced with the battle against brain cancer. We are able to answer the questions we always forgot to ask during doctor's appointments, and we are able to just be there and listen as they talk through their diagnosis. 

Hearing of a recent glioblastoma diagnosis does take me back to that moment when we realized Dad had a tumor, when we realized the tumor was cancer, and when we realized the battle we had ahead. That moment was terrifying, that moment still brings knots to my stomach, but that moment also makes me realize how far we've come in our battle. It gives me hope that others faced with that terrifying moment will see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Our life isn't perfect, and in reality, it's far from perfect. We struggle each day with Dad's diagnosis, the side effects of the tumor and treatment, and understanding our new normal. We've learned to lean on people who have gone through the battle before us, and because of that, we are more than happy for others to lean on us during their battles. 

The treatments continue, and in our life, they will never stop. We will continue to have MRI's, battles against the side effects of the chemo and bi-weekly trips for Avastin. That has all become our new normal. And what a beautiful normal it really has become. 

Asking for a few extra prayers for some pretty incredible people in my life, those who have been battling cancer for a while, and those newly diagnosed. The road is difficult, with so many unknowns, but know there are people who "just get it" and are with you on this ride.

Continue praying, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!