Well, Our Path Just Got A Bit Bumpy... Dad Update 11/18/2015

Well, it's not the news we wanted to hear yesterday. We wanted to hear "MRI looks great, no new growth." But, that's not the news we heard. Not at all. 

Instead, we heard that the MRI has changed. We don't like to hear the word "change". The MRI is showing blood flow to the area (increased enhancement) where the tumor was located. 

So what does this mean?

1. There is no mass or tumor currently in Dad's brain. YES- GREAT news!
2. There is no shift in his brain. YES- GREAT news!
3. There is blood flow and increased enhancement- meaning Dad's tumor feeds off of blood flow- so the last thing we want is blood flow to the area where the tumor was located.

Ok, so 2 of the 3 things we found on yesterday are GREAT news- but #3 up there, that one put tears in my eyes and left me with a feeling of absolute frustration. 

So what is our next step?

Well, in March of 2014 we heard some devastating news as well, we were told the MRI looked bad- much worse than THIS MRI- and after just a few months of fighting Brain Cancer, we were all left in shock and disbelief. BUT, we started a new treatment called Avastin and it seemed to really help Dad- and his MRI's. Avastin is not chemotherapy, as Dad will continue on his chemotherapy pills every month- Dad's Oncologist feels as though these are continuing to benefit him, and we do whatever Dr. Fleener recommends!- but Avastin helps slow the growth of new blood vessels. Dad has very few side effects to the treatment- the worse part is sitting at the Cancer Clinic every two weeks for about an hour receiving the treatment. But he's a champ and we make him comfortable so he can nap the entire time. 

After a brief fight with the insurance company- I swear those guys will never learn that I always win these battles!- the Avastin was approved yesterday and Dad already received his first treatment. I have to hand it to the amazing staff and nurses at the Cancer Clinic- the billing ladies and I are tight, as they've helped me through so many of our insurance battles and Nikki went above and beyond to help get his treatment approved yesterday. And the nurses, each one hugged Dad and kept telling him that they were going to help him beat this cancer again. Each one of them are so encouraging and sincere with the love and care they show Dad. To say we've been blessed with an amazing group of people loving and caring for my Dad would be an understatement- this group of people have become our second family and I'm so incredibly thankful for that. 

After mentally, and emotionally, processing all the information yesterday, I immediately went into information gathering mode. I sent texts and emails inquiring about our next steps- that is IF the Avastin does not benefit Dad. I want to be as informed as possible and have every possible option available for Mom and Dad to discuss. Yet another reason I am so incredibly thankful for the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation- one email, yes just ONE, telling them our situation and I was given names of doctors and clinical trials I should consider to enroll Dad in. I didn't have to hunt around on the internet, instead the information was sent to me and recommendations as to the BEST clinical trial results so far. We are so BLESSED to be part of the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation- as their love and support has been something I've leaned on these last 2 years. 

So it wasn't ideal. And with the holidays, this sure isn't an ideal time. But, we have to remember that God's timing is in fact PERFECT. I laughed this morning because I told God that I was frustrated, that all I asked for him was for a perfect MRI, so why couldn't I get exactly what I wanted? And then a quote popped into my head: "Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of understanding."

So sure, it wasn't the news we wanted to hear. I'm still mentally and emotionally processing it all, with some moments remaining so incredibly positive in our journey, and others completely confused and saddened by the path we have ahead of us. So when you see me in tears, it's not because my FAITH isn't strong and I do believe God's timing is PERFECT- it's that I'm human, my entire family is human, and I pray that God can heal my Dad. Because I truly believe he can, he will, but even if he doesn't, I'll praise him throughout it all.

Many families faced with a cancer diagnosis, especially one like Glioblastoma, aren't given the amount of time we've been given. So I'm going to focus on that- I'm going to focus on these last 2 years and what a beautiful gift of TIME God has given to me and my family. And I pray he continues to grant us this beautiful gift, if it is his will. 

Thank you for all the continued thoughts and prayers on this journey, as we fight like hell to BTHO Brain Cancer.