Combine that little quote with my recent look at my "time hop" on Facebook, and I couldn't help but realize how incredibly true those words have been these last (almost) 30 months.
Time Hop has a way of reminding you what you were doing exactly one year, two years, heck even seven years for some of my memories, from today. And Time Hop reminded me how far we've come in these last 30 months of Dad's diagnosis, and reminded me of the incredible amount of suffering we've endured, suffering that has completely been filled with God's grace.
One year ago I wrote the following (March 2015):
"I am so desperately trying to find the silver lining, the good in this situation, but I'm without a doubt struggling right now. Dad's cancer has once again attempted to test my faith and my determination to win this battle. I received a call this morning that Dad has appeared to have had a stroke. We are meeting with doctors this afternoon to figure out our next plan. Until then, I'm headed back to Texas and asking for lots of prayers for Dad."
And just hours later:
"Right as I pulled into Brenham, we received the MRI results- God's timing is pretty perfect. Dad's MRI did not indicate a bleed or stroke, although since he did have symptoms which show that something is going on in his brain, they have not ruled out that Dad could have had a small (very small) stroke, that is not appear on the MRI, or some swelling where his tumor was removed. Both him and Mom are headed home as we speak, and we have a follow up appointment in a week or so. His speech is improving, along with his right side weakness, which we pray will continue to get better each day. On another note, the MRI also did not show any tumor growth! We are going to take all of this as just a minor bump in the road, and continue on our fight against cancer."
And then two years ago I wrote the following (March 2014):
"This isn't the message I wanted to be sending out today after getting Dad's MRI results. The MRI indicates tumor growth. We start chemo and new treatment next week, and we will be meeting with a doctor in Houston. Please continue praying for Dad as we continue to hope and pray for healing."
Dad started another round of chemotherapy last night and we have another round of Avastin scheduled on Wednesday. Dad hates these weeks. I can see it in his eyes, and you can read it on his face. But, I continue to try and remind him how far he's come.
We've hit a lot of bumps in the road these last 30 months- some have been filled with an abundance of suffering, but even more so these bumps have been filled with faith. I'm reminded of this faith from those stopping to ask about Dad and telling me that they've been praying- I can tell you we feel the power of prayer daily- and I'm reminded of this each time I get to watch Dad interact with his grandson, Luke. There is a purpose in the suffering, as it's reminded us what's really important in life.
I joke and say that maybe we are the lucky ones- but maybe in fact we are. Because throughout the storms of Dad's battle these last 30 months, and throughout the storm he faces this week in treatment, we are able to smile at even the smallest moments of joy, love in even the most difficult of times, and continue to see the light in Dad's darkest days.
I would never wish this journey on anyone, but if faced with something as difficult as Dad's disease, I hope others can see that the suffering we face now is nothing compared to the joy that is to come, and that the suffering we face now is not the absence of God, instead it's the abundance of his grace.
Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers, especially this week as we face Dad's difficult time with his chemotherapy and Avastin. As always, thank you all for your love and support, and thanks for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer.
Run For The Rose Update:
We have 80 team members and we've raised over $2,700 towards brain cancer research! We love to have each of your join us that day or make a donation to an amazing organization that continues to do great things in the brain cancer community!
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
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