When The Battle Is Over... The True Suffering Begins.

This morning I received a text that broke my heart into a million pieces. 

"My mom died this morning."

I honestly didn't even know how to respond. Because I knew no words could bring back her mom. No words could show the absolute pain my heart was feeling for her and her family. No words could bring any sort of comfort to her at that moment. 

So what did I share? 

I told her that I loved her. 

This dear friend of mine has been on a cancer journey very similar to ours, as her mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer about a year and a half ago. We've both celebrated through great scans, and supported one another through some not so great ones. We've leaned on one another for advice on how to manage the side effects of the treatments, and we've each celebrated small victories when our loved ones managed to feel just a little bit better. 

She's been my rock throughout Dad's battle. 

I recently watched a sermon by Matt Chandler- he's a pastor in the Dallas area, and a brain cancer survivor- where he shared the following words:

"Suffering. Difficulty. It should surprise no one." Matt Chandler

You're right Matt, these things shouldn't surprise us- because it is what God has promised each of us- it's just I wish those things didn't hurt so bad. 

And I truly believe that eventually we understand the suffering and difficulty that is placed in our lives, and although I do not think God WANTS us to suffer- it's part of our journey in this world. I believe that God gives us the tools to handle the suffering and difficult times, but sometimes it takes us a while to find those tools in the midst of our sadness and defeat. 

There are a lot of things that I can relate to when it comes to a cancer diagnosis. I can relate to the awful chemotherapy treatments and the terrible side effects. I can relate to the numerous insurance issues and bills. I can relate to scan days and the dreaded anxiety associated with waiting for the results. I can relate to the pain of hearing "terminal cancer". 

But I can't relate to losing a parent. I know it's a loss that is hard to describe. It's a loss that involves so much suffering, and so much pain.

And although I can't relate to the loss, what I also shared with my friend is that I do not believe that her mom "lost" her battle with cancer. 

No you see, her mom showed faith, determination, strength, and a will to kick cancer's butt. How can you lose a battle when you have all those things in your corner? 

So today, I'm asking for a few more prayers for my dear friend and her family, as they face the suffering after the battle. They face the realization that the cancer journey is over, and a new type of suffering has started. 

I'll be hugging Dad a little bit tighter, enjoying a few more extra moments with him over the holidays, and I'll be thanking God for each second I have with him- because after today, life has shown me, once again, that our time here is short and the little moments in life truly are the big moments.