T- 2 Days Until "Run For The Rose"

With only 2 days remaining until our first trip to 'Run For The Rose', I feel like I've been running around like crazy getting things together- and I LOVE it! From finalizing t-shirt orders, to writing thank you notes (LOTS of Thank You notes), to scheduling our Race Day packet deliveries, I've been extremely busy and extremely thankful- thankful for such amazing people supporting us! Last night I shared with Dad the list of people who are running with us on Sunday, those of you who have donated money, and those of you who have purchased a 'Team Lar' t-shirt- the smile on his face when he saw the lists made all of my crazy running around completely worth it! 

As of this morning, we've raised $8,225! That number is truly unbelievable to me. $8,225! The Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation is truly amazing and I'm so happy to have found a foundation that does so much for the cancer community:
-They were the first in Houston to help fund Brain Cancer research.
-At MD Anderson, more than 5 clinical trials have resulted directly from the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation contributions. Funding of research and therapy which has enabled many brain tumor patients to live 5-6 years and more without recurrence. 
-And along with their support of Brain Cancer research, they also are supporters of the Children's Memorial Hermann Hospital.

With Dad's upcoming appointments in Houston with another Oncologist, an Oncologist with direct ties to MD Anderson clinical trials, I am so proud that our team has been able to donate over $8,000! This money will fund treatments that will have a direct impact on Dad's fight.

This foundation has given me new hope in Dad's diagnosis, new hope that there will be a day where a cure is found for cancer, a day where fear and anxiety will no longer be felt when someone hears 'cancer', but instead- 'hope'. 

So thank you for your support over these past 6 months, thank you for your donations and kind words, and thank you for allowing me run around like crazy to make our first trip to 'Run For The Rose' a huge success. 

And most importantly- Thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer! 
http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/Run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer

Run For The Rose: T-Minus 4 Days!

With only 4 days remaining until 'Run For The Rose', I wanted to share a few numbers with y'all:

96: The number of 'Team Lar' t-shirts YOU requested. That means 96 of you will be wearing a shirt supporting Brain Cancer research and Dad. 

52: The number of people who have joined 'BTHO Brain Cancer- Lar's Fight'. 

116: The number of people who have donated to our team for 'Run For The Rose'. 

And...

$105.00: The amount we need to reach our goal of $7,000! 

There is still time to join our team and donate money to such an amazing foundation, a foundation which is changing lives of so many. Please visit our team page http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/Run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer and help us reach our goal!

With 4 days remaining until we are given the opportunity to meet with other Brain Cancer survivors and families/friends impacted by Brain Cancer, I can't help but look at those numbers above and realize how thankful I am for such an amazing support system we have. 

This hasn't been an easy journey for anyone in my family, but we've been able to make it through it all with those of you who have been there from the beginning, praying for us and cheering us on as we all fight this together. 

Cancer may suck, but God is good! Thank you all and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!

Our First Round of Avastin IV Treatment: Dad Update 3/25

During Dad's initial treatment, I was able to take him to radiation treatment every Friday for 6 weeks, and every Friday I would talk to others JUST like Dad- others fighting this battle. I was honored because I was able to witness and interact with the strongest people in the world- those fighting cancer. Some may say that our story has been an inspiration to others, a story of faith and determination, and maybe that's true, but all I know is that when Dad was getting radiation and IV treatment, those fighting cancer, they inspired me more than they will ever know. 

Dad started a new treatment today- Avastin. It's a treatment done via IV, which lasts about 1.5 hours. The side effects are said to be minimal and we are praying that is the case. Dad hasn't been feeling well these last few days- he's tired, having headaches and stomach issues. It breaks my heart. I'm just praying, praying this treatment cures all the growth and Dad will start to feel better again. I sat with Dad during his treatment, I wanted to be there to distract him from it all- make him laugh, tell him about work or (in true Whitney form) just bullshit with him about life- but in true Lar form, he napped. There is no way to describe what it's like to sit next to your Dad as he receives treatment for cancer, no way to describe the fear, anxiety and, at the same time, joy I felt that I was able to share those moments with him. Sitting there with him, surround by fighters...there was no where else I'd rather be.

We will continue this treatment every 2 weeks, and we will be meeting with a Neuro-Oncologist next week in Houston. And then in one month we will repeat the MRI and pray for no more cancer growth. Until then, until that one month passes, I'm taking everything one day at a time and attempting to smile through it all. 

I've been so blessed to have found the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation, so blessed to now be part of something much bigger than myself. The Run For The Rose not only raises money for Brain Cancer research, but also brings awareness to Brain Cancer- a cancer that is often under-recognized and under-funded. I'm so proud to know that our team has raised over $6,800. It's become much bigger than I could have ever hoped and dreamed!

I want to thank each of you for being on this journey with us, a journey filled with uncertainty and fear, but also one filled with faith and hope. Many of you have thanked me for writing about Dad's fight, when really I should be thanking you for reading about our journey and encouraging me to write. By sharing our story, I've been able to join with others fighting similar battles, others who know the pain, fear and anxiety I write about daily. Honestly, it sucks (for lack of a better word) to share a battle with cancer with a friend, and as much as I hate that cancer is something we have in common- it's also comforting to have someone that truly understands it all.

"When you get a cancer diagnosis you learn two things, you are stronger than you imagine, and you are more loved than you know." With every minute that passes from the moment we received the news on Friday about Dad's cancer, I'm able to process and grasp our new path in his treatment. It's not going to be easy, and there will be moments when I will feel as though all hope is gone, but I also know that there will come a day when a story that involves cancer will also involve a cure- we just have to make it to that day.

Keep praying and we will keep fighting. 


*There is still time to join our team or make a donation towards Brain Cancer research: http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/Run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer 

Run For The Rose Update: 3/23

When I came across the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation and created a team for "Run For The Rose" supporting brain cancer research, I never would have imagined we would have over 50 members on our team, have raised over $6,300, and have ordered over 80 "Team Lar" t-shirts. There are no words to describe my feelings. 

The news we received Friday wasn't what I was wanting to hear, but just like Mom told me, "Sometimes God doesn't give us what we want, he gives us what we need", and maybe she's right. The news makes me want to fight even more, fight to be stronger for Dad, fight to be stronger for Mom and fight to bring more awareness to brain cancer. 

I honestly can't believe we've raised so much money, money that will go towards research and money to help end cancer. I'm not sure how Dad will react to these next treatments, and I'm not sure where this journey will take us, but what I do know is that I've become part of something bigger than me- I've become part of finding a cure. Dad has so much fight and determination still left in him, fight and determination that tells me Dad will surprise us all! 

I continue to pray everyday for Dad, I pray for his strength and determination to impact others, I pray these next round of treatments fight hard against his cancer and I pray for a day that no one has to experience the pain and fear of cancer.

I'm so proud to be part of Dad's journey, proud of who he is and proud of who I've become. 

There is still time to join our team, make a donation or order a t-shirt for the "Run For The Rose" 5k. Please help to BTHO Cancer! http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/Run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer

The Post I Never Wanted To Write

It's the post, this part of our story, that I never wanted to have to share- the MRI indicated the cancer is back. 

I didn't know how to share this news or even if I was ready to share this news, but then I realized I've had so many of you on this journey with me from the start- people who have prayed and been with us through it all- and I owed it to myself and to everyone to share this.

The doctor wasn't happy with the MRI results, as the results indicated tumor growth, with a small chance of the growth being pseudoprogression, which can look like tumor growth although is a side-effect from the radiation (i.e. not cancer). We have decided that we want to be as aggressive as possible and start additional treatment right away, and the doctor agreed. 

So our next steps- Dad will continue on his chemo by pill on Monday and start another treatment called Avastin, which is by IV, on Tuesday. We have scheduled appointments with another doctor in Houston to discuss other treatments for GBM, in hopes we find the one that works for Dad. 

People have already been asking what they can do, and all I ask is that you continue to pray. Pray that we find a treatment that works best for Dad, pray that he continues to be positive throughout his treatment, and pray that we all stay positive and focused on God's plan. 

I don't have a choice here to fall apart or be sad, the only choice I have is to do everything I can to help Dad fight. Don't get me wrong, I've cried most of today and I'm sure the days ahead will not be easy, but my tears are quickly dried when I remind myself that we are truly blessed. Blessed with amazing family to support us, amazing friends who love us, and a God that is good.

Thank you all for your love and support- and keep those prayers coming, as we will find a way to BTHO Cancer!

You Never Know How Strong You Are, Until Being Strong Is The Only Option

I've had people tell me how well I'm handling our situation, how strong I am being throughout it all. It's strange to me, because I never thought about it that way- I never thought that I had any other option than to be strong. 

I'm handling this situation the only way I know, the only way I've come to know, by watching others. I remember when I was young and my Granny was diagnosed with cancer, I was much too young to really understand the true impact of the illness, but I witness the fight and determination- and sadly, I watched as cancer took my Granny too soon. But I also witnessed something else, something that I wasn't too young to understand- Love. I watched as my Mom and Aunt took turns sleeping over with my Granny, I watched as they sacrificed time with their own kids, time at work and time relaxing, to help take care of their mother. I was taught early on how to react to a situation like this, a situation as devastating as cancer, as I was taught to be strong, help in every way possible, and to pray- which is exactly what I am doing. 

The first couple of weeks was very difficult after Dad's seizure, and I will not deny that I questioned God, questioned my faith and questioned this path. But as the days have passed and I've been able to process life little by little, I've come to understand that God doesn't call the qualified, the qualifies the called. I wasn't ready for this journey when everything started- and it took time for me to understand this path and understand my journey- but I truly believe that God so perfectly created this for us. He created a path that is difficult- filled with highs and lows, good and bad days- but a path that he felt was perfect for my family. 

It absolutely breaks my heart when I hear of others with loved ones that have been diagnosed with cancer. It takes me back to those first couple of weeks- weeks where I questioned everything about this path, and I questioned everything about my faith. It's a horrible feeling, a feeling that I don't wish upon anyone, although it's a feeling I know many are experiencing right now. 

Anyone faced with a difficult situation can crumble, fall, and lose hope- but I've chosen to not allow this difficult situation to result in any of those things. I will never lose hope, I will never lose faith and I will never lose my strength, because I know miracles happen every day. 

The saying is very true.. "you never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option." Cancer sucks, and that won't change today or tomorrow, so instead I'm going to pray for those who are battling and those who are standing by loved ones battling cancer. I'm praying for comfort, praying for healing, and praying that they too never lose the strength to make it through each and every day. 

Trust

Anticipation, anxiety and fear has consumed many of my thoughts lately, as we will know Dad's MRI results on Friday. I know the statistics, I know the odds of the tumor returning, and I also know that the cancer returning would only be a small step back, a bump in this journey. Dad responded really well to the radiation and chemotherapy, as his MRI post treatment looked even better than his MRI post surgery. This gives me hope, although the anticipation, anxiety and fear still remain, and I pray each night for trust- trust in a much higher power, a power greater than any doctor, chemo or other medication. Trust.

Trust has been so difficult for me during this experience, a struggle each day to just TRUST. When I was going through confirmation I selected a verse: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way." It's pretty amazing to me that the one thing I find myself struggling with most is the main focus of a verse I selected when I was in the 8th grade. Coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous. 

It's been no secret this fear and anxiety I have, and it's been no secret that I've praised God throughout this entire journey as well. My daily devotional is really amazing, and it helps remind me of this TRUST. Today's reading, was no exception:
"Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don't let your need to understand distract you from My Presence. I will equip you to get through this day victoriously as you live in deep dependence on Me. Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don't get tangled up in it's worry-webs. Trust Me one day at a time."

One day at a time. That's exactly how we've been taking Dad's diagnosis, his treatment, everything- one day at a time. It hasn't been easy, actually it's been far from easy, it's been downright difficult. But I'm learning to TRUST, trust that everything will work out, trust that God is in control of it all, and trust that no matter what lies ahead, God is already there. 

I can tell Dad is anxious about his next upcoming appointments, and I don't blame him- because I'm right there with him with being anxious! He visits with his Neurosurgeon today to discuss his anti-seizure medication, and (I'm hoping) he decreases this medication even more. Dad still (legally) can not drive until April 5, as it is state law in Texas for anyone who has a seizure to wait 6 months until operating a vehicle. He also will be having blood work done today to prepare for his MRI tomorrow morning. And then we wait. Oh the waiting game. Friday morning we meet with his Oncologist to discuss the results, and as I'm sitting here I continue to pray for good results. 

I try to remind myself:
"They do not fear bad news; they confidently TRUST the Lord to care for them."

Keep the prayers coming for TRUST and good news on Friday!