Sunday, January 5, 2020

Well done, good and faithful servant. 1/5/2020

On January 1, 2020, I lost the greatest man I've ever known. My Dad passed away a little over a week after we learned Dad's cancer had returned. 

The last few weeks seemed to be a bit of a blur, but I wanted to share with everyone the final chapter in Dad's cancer story- as you've all been on this journey with us from the start, so it's only fair I share the ending. 

Dad's MRI that was done in November showed a spot near his brain stem- with his oncologist and neurosurgeon both not sure what exactly it was, but both not concerned. Dad wasn't showing any signs of tumor at that time. 

Then, Dad suffered a TIA on Monday, December 16th, with the MRI showing another small spot near his brain stem. Again, both his oncologist and neurosurgeon were not sure what it was- but both not concerned. By Saturday, December 21st, things had progressed with Dad's ability to walk, talk and we all knew something wasn't right. We  had an MRI done on December 23rd, and were told the cancer had returned, and there was significant growth on Dad's brain stem. The tumor was inoperable, and Dad made the decision that he did not want any treatment. 

We called in hospice, and Dad came home on Christmas Eve. Eight days later, Dad took his final breath. 

His eight days at home were filled with some really hard days- there were days where Dad was very aware and awake, and times where he slept almost all day. We sat with him many of times, telling old stories, reminding Dad how proud we are of him and how much we love him, and constantly telling him that we would take care of Mutz after he was gone. We wanted him to go home, we reminded him constantly that we wanted him to go when he was ready. 

We surrounded Dad constantly and his final breath was taken while the hospice aid came to see him- we all felt like Dad did this so purposefully, as he didn't want any of us to be there for his last breath. It was peaceful, just as we had prayed for over and over again. 

The day of Dad's visitation was filled with so much love- and so many people! We spent over 3 hours hugging countless friends and family- some that only knew Dad, some that only knew Mom, and some that only knew one of us girls- they stood in line for an hour just to see us. I know Dad was looking down overwhelmed with joy and so proud. 

And the day of Dad's funeral, my devotional was unbelievably perfect- 
"Find joy in Me, for I am your strength. It is vital to keep your Joy alive, especially when you're in the throes of adversity. Whenever you are struggling with difficulties, you need to guard your thoughts and spoken words carefully...Turn to Me, asking Me to help you with all your struggles...Remember that your problems are temporary but I am eternal- and so is your relationship with Me...This is the Joy of the Lord, which is yours for all time and throughout eternity!"

Both Pastor Glen and Pastor Darrin did an unbelievable job celebrating Dad's life. The service was so Dad, and I know he was looking down so proudly at everyone that was part of it, and was in awe of the number of people that attended. 

I will miss Dad every minute of every day- and the pain continues to come in waves- some moments I feel overwhelmed with sadness, and other times I feel so joyful that his pain and suffering is done- his chains are gone. 

Selfishly I want him here with me- but I hope his 6 year cancer journey showed others that statistics are just that, statistics, and that you can beat the odds that are placed against you- it takes a little bit of luck, a great medical team, and a whole lot of faith. 

There is a lot of sadness in my heart- but there is no anger- God has used our family these last six years in a way that I will never fully understand or comprehend, but what I do know is that Dad's story has impacted so many, and my heart can't help but be filled with joy because of that. 

After blogging for years, the hardest thing I ever wrote was Dad's obituary. I hope you read this and you get a sense of the kind of man, father, husband, and friend Dad was to many- he was the best. 

Love your family and friends a little bit harder- take those family pictures your parents beg you to take, and remember that life can change so quickly, make this journey filled with love, hope, and, above all, joy. 

Here is Dad's obituary for those that would like to read. We have appreciated you all on this journey with us, and although Dad's cancer chapter has come to an end, our fight to BTHO Brain Cancer continues on. 

https://www.memorialoakschapel.com/obituary/larry-glenz




Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Dad Celebrates 6 Year Cancerversary! 10-30-2019

So, I've been slacking on my blog posts a little bit...ok, a lot. But life has been a bit crazy in our family- all in a good way!

There are FOUR little ones in our family that have us moving from soccer games, to baseball games, gymnastics, pumpkin patch pictures....the list goes on and on. And we love EVERY minute of this running around- and we love that Dad gets to be part of this crazy life. 

I find it pretty perfect that my devotional for October 5- the day we consider Dad's cancerversary- read:

"I want you to have no fear of bad news. The only way to accomplish this feat is to have a steadfast heart, trusting in Me. There is an abundance of bad news in the world, but you don't need to be afraid of it. Instead, confidently rely on Me- believe in Me...Don't dread bad news or let it spook you. Instead, keep your heart steadfast and calm through confident trust in Me."

We celebrated Dad's cancerversary surrounded by our incredible family, and even a surprise visit from Dad's oncologist. 


We love Dr. Fleener and her entire staff at the Cancer Clinic. I say it so often, but they are our second family and have been with us through truly some of the most difficult of times.

We have another MRI in November- which is 6 months from the last MRI. And we continue to be so hopeful that the MRI shows no changes or signs of tumor growth. 

Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers- and as always, thanks for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Ok, So It's Been Awhile....Dad Update 9/11/2019

Life has been somewhat normal...if that is even such a thing after a cancer diagnosis. Mom and Dad continue to live life each day- working on the yard, driving out to Burton to check on their land, and attending various events for the grandkids. 

Recently we've received numerous texts, calls and messages from others- all with the same question..."This person I know received a Glioblastoma/Brain Cancer diagnosis- help!"

It's a question that gives us that same gut wrenching feeling that we had when Dad received his cancer diagnosis- but one that we try to respond and provide hope. 

This October 5th we will celebrate Dad's SIX year cancerversary. And while work, life and the stress of everything else finds a way to get the best of me sometimes- I find that looking back at how far our family has come both mentally, and spiritually- I can't help but realize that no matter what life throws our way- it too shall pass. 

I remember Mom telling each of us that "We will not sit here and wait to die, we are going to continue to live."...and sometimes she takes that a bit too literally! Days where Dad is exhausted- as the radiation and years of chemotherapy has caused some side effects- Mom is right there to make him get up, go and DO something. She's the most patient caretaker- as she reminds me that Dad has to have a purpose, so if that means it takes him an hour longer than it would take anyone else to mow the grass, then we wait an hour longer until it's done. 

The side effects from Dad's treatment and surgery has become our new normal- and while his speech and short term memory have been changed- his personality, love and humor has not. And honestly, that doesn't bother me one bit. 

So my advice for those faced with this terrible diagnosis. Don't sit around waiting to die, continue to live. Continue to take advantage of the amazing advances in brain cancer treatment, take advantage of this moment to find or strengthen your faith, and take advantage of those around you to lift you up in your darkest of moments. 

While life can throw us some unexpected things- the one thing it can never take away is our faith and our will to make today the best it can be. 

As always, going 6 years strong- thank you all for your continued love and prayers- and thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!

Monday, January 14, 2019

MRI Update. 1/14/2019

A quick update on Dad. 

We had an MRI earlier last week, with the results showing no change and no indication of cancer growth. We have our next MRI scheduled for the end of May. We are so incredibly blessed!

We are also getting ready for our next visit to Run For The Rose, as we support brain cancer research, and the countless families impacted by this disease. Please consider making a donation or joining our team for this incredible event!


Friday, October 5, 2018

Our FIVE Year Cancer-versary. Dad Update 10/5/2018

October 5th hits us pretty hard each year. As that was the day Dad had his seizure...where we left the hospital with more questions than answers...where we had not even the slightest clue the journey we had ahead. 

We celebrate this day as Dad's cancer-versary. It's a day that 5 years ago I wasn't sure how many of these we would get to celebrate. Or how many Father's days, or Christmas mornings...all those holidays that first year looked like our last. 

And now, after lots of Christmas mornings, and Father's day celebrations, birthdays and anniversaries- we sit here FIVE years later, knowing that we've beat each and every statistic that's been placed against Dad. 

His last MRI was on Tuesday, with our results on Wednesday- the MRI indicated that the "spot" everyone was worried was cancer growth, was actually getting smaller- meaning it was NOT cancer, but instead a stroke that was dissolving itself. Talk about some pretty great cancer-versary news!

Our appointment that day was over 2 hours past when we scheduled it...which could have been pretty frustrating...but...

I always make my Sunday School kids tell me their "rose" and "thorn" of the week- with them having to tell me how they saw God in BOTH of these moments. I remind them that it's pretty easy to see God in our "rose" moments, but often it's tough to see Him in the "thorn". Well, here's how we saw God in our "thorn"...

We sat there for 2 hours, waiting somewhat patiently for the news. And once we received the news and heard the WHY in the delay in our appointment I realized something...the delay was because  we are lucky enough to have a doctor and staff that are Dad's advocates for the BEST care possible. They don't rely on family members to argue with insurance companies or radiologist- demanding the best care, demanding better answers- they instead take it upon themselves to advocate on our behalf. So I'll take those two hours of waiting, knowing that Dr. Fleener is fighting for the patient in the next room, just as hard as she is fighting for my Dad. 

There's a lot to be said about Dad beating this "deadliest form of brain cancer" now for FIVE years- and there's a lot that has gone into these last five years. And I'm going to do my best to share each and every aspect that has made us successful.

First and foremost, it is Dad's unbelievable faith in Jesus Christ. His faith has strengthened mine in ways that he can't even begin to imagine. I have never seen someone look at death straight in the eyes, and instead of being fearful and worried- he went forward, leaning on his faith, and his family to help him through each day. 

And I think all tied together would be the countless prayers of those that know Dad personally- and those that only know him through his wife or kids. I remember our pastor at the time telling us- ASK for prayers, have so many prayers going up that God says "Ok ok, I get it, y'all are praying for Larry." Have Him overwhelmed with prayer. And that's EXACTLY what has happened. 

With these prayers comes an unbelievable group of people supporting us. From meals that were delivered to our house throughout his intense treatment- to cards in the mail, just letting Dad know that someone is thinking about him- to the phone calls and text messages- we have felt the love. 

And faith, friends, and prayers are all incredibly important- but so is a good medical team. There is something to be said about a Cancer Clinic & Neurosurgeon office that makes you feel so loved and so very cared for each time you have an appointment. They've become our extended family, as we know there is no way we could have done all we've done these last 5 years without their love and support throughout it all. 

We celebrate these FIVE incredible years appreciating each and every moment- from the BIG celebrations, to your average Tuesday night- each is a reminder of how lucky we truly are in this big fight. Dad's speech isn't perfect, and sometimes his short term memory has us all repeating things a couple of times- but we are exactly where God wanted us on this journey. We've become closer as a family in every possible way. We've learned that the plan we had for this life isn't turning out to be exactly what we thought it would be, but we've taken it all in as His perfect plan- one that we can't even begin to imagine or comprehend. I have learned in these last five years that there is purpose in pain, and that through some of our biggest "thorns" in life, there is true joy that can be seen- it's just sometimes you have to look a little harder. 

We have seen God work in an unbelievable way through Dad, and I thank Him each and every day for carrying me through some of my darkest of days. God and I talked many of nights, where I doubted His journey for us, His strength, and my faith- and each time I shared my doubt, He found a way to lift me up in a way that I sometimes couldn't comprehend.

Some may ask how your faith can get stronger through some of the most difficult days of your life- but I always ask back, how could it not? 

Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers- and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!

Friday, August 24, 2018

MRI Update. 8/24/2018

Yesterday my devotional read:

"When tests and challenges come at you from all sides, consider it a joyful opportunity....Instead of being overwhelmed by all the difficulties, grasp My hand with confident trust...One of the hardest part of dealing with multiple trials is waiting for their resolution. Since patience is part of the Spirit's fruit, He can help you endure the waiting. Don't try to get out of hard times prematurely. Instead, persevere patiently, knowing that perseverance must finish its work- making you mature and complete."

Yesterday was a long, and exhausting, day filled with appointments with our oncologist and neurosurgeon. And at the end of the day, we don't know a whole lot. 

The good news- the area of concern from the last MRI did not change- which would typically indicate that this is not a glioblastoma or melanoma, as both these cancers tend to grow quickly. But it still doesn't tell us what it really is that's going on in Dad's brain. Dad's neurosurgeon was happy to see there was no change, but has not ruled out that this could be a slow growing tumor, or radiation damage, or just the way Dad's brain looks now post everything that's happened to him. He said, "If it were my Dad, I would wait it out- do another MRI and see if it tells us more."

So that's what we are going to do. Wait. 

And that's where that devotional from yesterday comes in..."...He can help endure the waiting. Don't try to get out of hard times prematurely."

We will schedule another MRI in about 6 weeks and re-evaluate our next steps. 

I am so thankful that Dad continues to feel well, and has not been experiencing any symptoms of re-growth, but I am also very realistic in our journey- we were always told it was a matter of WHEN the tumor returns, never IF. It will be difficult these next six weeks trying to patiently wait, with the back of my mind analyzing every headache, every speech difficulty....it will be difficult just not knowing what exactly is going on. 

We feel as confident as we can feel with our plan, as we trust our amazing team of medical doctors 100%. Dad is living proof that there is clearly a hand in all this that is much greater than any doctor or treatment, and I'm working so hard on trusting this plan with Him. 

I can't thank each of you enough for the countless prayers throughout the last (almost!) five years. We've been on an incredible journey, and we pray that the journey continues on- that this is just a small bump and whatever this is that is showing up on the MRI is truly nothing!

And I also can't thank our medical team enough for their countless support- Dr. Fleener and the entire staff at the Cancer Clinic have become family to us all. We trust Dr. Fleener with every aspect of Dad's treatment, and I can't imagine having any other doctor with us on this journey. And Dr. White without a doubt saved my Dad's life almost five years ago during surgery- and the second surgery. We are so thankful for this incredible team to help us manage all that life's thrown our way. 

Thank you all for the prayers- keep them coming!- and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

A Slight Update On Dad 8/14/2018

Okay, I have slight update on Dad. As always, I like to keep you all in the loop as we continue on this crazy ride...

Literally the same week we found out about Dad's brain tumor in 2013, we were told he also had melanoma on his face- literally near his tumor location. We dealt with the brain tumor first, and then we tackled the melanoma. A quick trip to the plastic surgeon, and we received "all clear". Dad's been visiting the dermatologist every 6 months for full body checks- which if you know me, you know why I STRESS these types of visits to everyone! Family history of melanoma means you're twice as likely to be diagnosed!

Fast forward to our last MRI and this "brain lesion", where we thought it could be Glioblastoma or a stroke....all of us completely forgetting about this melanoma diagnosis almost five years ago. I literally woke up one morning and thought- could this be melanoma on the brain? But before making any calls to our oncologist, I checked with the nurses in my family first, as I told them, "Not sure if this is a dumb question..."

Turns out, it wasn't. 

Melanoma can appear like a "brain lesion" when moving to the brain. Hearing that from our oncologist made my heart sink. We scheduled a PET scan to rule out melanoma- and honestly I'm not sure what is worse, melanoma that has spread to the brain, or another glioblastoma. 

We received preliminary PET scan reports last Friday, which did not indicate anything negative on the report, with our oncologist confirming Monday that there is no evidence of cancer anywhere on PET scan- only decreased metabolism on the left side of brain (but that is typically from radiation and surgery). 

We were so relieved. 

So now, we wait a little bit more- with an MRI next week, followed by appointments with both our oncologist and neurosurgeon. With each day that passes of Dad not showing any physical signs of tumor growth (slurred speech, headaches, right side weakness, etc) is a positive sign that the lesion is from an old stroke. Right now, we can't tell of anything Dad is doing physically that would indicate growth.

On August 18th we will celebrate Dad's birthday. We are so thankful for each and every day with Dad. He's strong, faithful, and above all, an amazing dad. He loves his family filled with girls (okay, and now some son in laws!), and thinks the world of his grand babies (and they do the same!). He's shown us all what it means to truly slow down and appreciate the little things in life. 

We look forward to celebrating this birthday, and many more in Dad's future. 

Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers, and thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!