Time Hop. Dad Update 3/22/2016

Recently I read a little quote: "Suffering is not the absence of God, if anything, it's the total opposite." 

Combine that little quote with my recent look at my "time hop" on Facebook, and I couldn't help but realize how incredibly true those words have been these last (almost) 30 months. 

Time Hop has a way of reminding you what you were doing exactly one year, two years, heck even seven years for some of my memories, from today. And Time Hop reminded me how far we've come in these last 30 months of Dad's diagnosis, and reminded me of the incredible amount of suffering we've endured, suffering that has completely been filled with God's grace.

One year ago I wrote the following (March 2015):
"I am so desperately trying to find the silver lining, the good in this situation, but I'm without a doubt struggling right now. Dad's cancer has once again attempted to test my faith and my determination to win this battle. I received a call this morning that Dad has appeared to have had a stroke. We are meeting with doctors this afternoon to figure out our next plan. Until then, I'm headed back to Texas and asking for lots of prayers for Dad."

And just hours later:


"Right as I pulled into Brenham, we received the MRI results- God's timing is pretty perfect. Dad's MRI did not indicate a bleed or stroke, although since he did have symptoms which show that something is going on in his brain, they have not ruled out that Dad could have had a small (very small) stroke, that is not appear on the MRI, or some swelling where his tumor was removed. Both him and Mom are headed home as we speak, and we have a follow up appointment in a week or so. His speech is improving, along with his right side weakness, which we pray will continue to get better each day. On another note, the MRI also did not show any tumor growth! We are going to take all of this as just a minor bump in the road, and continue on our fight against cancer."

And then two years ago I wrote the following (March 2014):
"This isn't the message I wanted to be sending out today after getting Dad's MRI results. The MRI indicates tumor growth. We start chemo and new treatment next week, and we will be meeting with a doctor in Houston. Please continue praying for Dad as we continue to hope and pray for healing."

Dad started another round of chemotherapy last night and we have another round of Avastin scheduled on Wednesday. Dad hates these weeks. I can see it in his eyes, and you can read it on his face. But, I continue to try and remind him how far he's come. 

We've hit a lot of bumps in the road these last 30 months- some have been filled with an abundance of suffering, but even more so these bumps have been filled with faith. I'm reminded of this faith from those stopping to ask about Dad and telling me that they've been praying- I can tell you we feel the power of prayer daily- and I'm reminded of this each time I get to watch Dad interact with his grandson, Luke. There is a purpose in the suffering, as it's reminded us what's really important in life. 

I joke and say that maybe we are the lucky ones- but maybe in fact we are. Because throughout the storms of Dad's battle these last 30 months, and throughout the storm he faces this week in treatment, we are able to smile at even the smallest moments of joy, love in even the most difficult of times, and continue to see the light in Dad's darkest days. 

I would never wish this journey on anyone, but if faced with something as difficult as Dad's disease, I hope others can see that the suffering we face now is nothing compared to the joy that is to come, and that the suffering we face now is not the absence of God, instead it's the abundance of his grace.

Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers, especially this week as we face Dad's difficult time with his chemotherapy and Avastin. As always, thank you all for your love and support, and thanks for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer.

Run For The Rose Update:

We have 80 team members and we've raised over $2,700 towards brain cancer research! We love to have each of your join us that day or make a donation to an amazing organization that continues to do great things in the brain cancer community!
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer

"Rest in My radiant presence." Dad Update 3/9/2016

Today, I turned to my devotional and read the following:

"Rest in My radiant presence. The world around you seems to spin faster and faster, till everything is a blur. Yet there is a cushion of calm at the center of your life, where you live in union with Me...Learn to depend on Me alone, and your weakness will become saturated with My Power...Life in the Light of My Presence, and your light will shine brightly into the lives of others."

Oh how it seems that sometimes the world is truly spinning faster and faster, leaving me exhausted- physically and emotionally exhausted. 

Days at the Cancer Clinic have the tendency to do just that, and I'm usually left exhausted. I think it's because I work myself up so much, thinking of all the questions I may have for Dr. Fleener, stressing about the next time she will want an MRI- as it always seems to fall around a time where I would prefer to not have an MRI, but then again when is a good time?- and mentally preparing myself to be in a place where I never imagined would become our second home. And these are the days that we do NOT get MRI results, it's too difficult to explain the emotions, anxiety, fear...you name it- that I have on actual MRI days.

Dr. Fleener calls us "frequent flyers" of the Cancer Clinic. We are there every 2 weeks for treatment, once a month for appointments with her, and every 6-8 weeks for MRI's. I know every nurse, each staff member, and they know us- all by first name. I know how to fix the chair just right so Dad can nap during treatment (which I'm getting much better at seeing the first few times he about flew out of the chair- sorry Lar!), and I know where the secret stash of bottled water is that Dad likes after his treatment. 

Yesterday's appointment for Dad went well, and Dr. Fleener is very pleased with how well he is handling the treatment and how well he continues to fight this disease. We were THRILLED to hear that the Cancer Clinic now has the ability to treat newly diagnosed Glioblastoma patients, and recurrent Glioblastoma patients with Optune. (See picture below)

Ok, so it looks a bit weird, wearing this cap on your head, carrying around a backpack full of batteries to supply the treatment- but y'all it's working on people! It's all so encouraging, which is why this is on my list for Dad's next treatment option!

I've always said that there is no coincidence, instead it's just God's way of remaining anonymous. Well, here goes some of God's incredible hand in all of this!

Dad's general physician's son- ok so that seems a bit removed from our family, so let me start over. My aunt is the nurse (and has been for years, also voted Brenham's Favorite Nurse many years in a row- congrats Joan!) for our general physician, Dr. Hayden. After Dad's diagnosis, my aunt mentioned what type of brain cancer my Dad would be fighting against, and my Dad's general physician told us about the device his son is helping promote and get to patients for a company called Novocure- which is the Optune device above. 

After Dad's MRI in November showed some enhancement and we were all concerned about regrowth, I immediately called my aunt and wanted names, doctors, details- I wanted it ALL about this device. We shared the name and phone number of our general physician's son, who works with the company that makes this device, and the doctor in Temple that utilizes this device for patients. Currently, our next option would be to travel to Houston or Temple to receive treatment with this device.

But yesterday we heard the news, Dr. Fleener's office would now be able to provide this treatment option to Glioblastoma patients! Currently, Dr. Fleener is treating 8 Glioblastoma patients in her office- for being such a "rare" disease it seems pretty unreal that there are THAT many with this disease. But we are so thankful that not only will Dad have this treatment option IF his tumor returns, but 7 other people will be able to utilize this device with their current doctor if they need it. Talk about a FULL FULL heart! 

Dad completed another round of Avastin, and I so badly wish I could do a countdown of the number of rounds he will have, or the number of chemotherapy treatments left in his battle, but unfortunately, these will never end. I see the bell at the cancer clinic and I so badly wish that Dad had the chance to ring that bell, indicating that he has completed his cancer treatment- but it's all just the nature of the beast we are up against. 

We continue to be so hopeful that Dad's treatments are working and we will have another good MRI in our future, but until then we continue to celebrate little victories and special moments- including Mom and Dad's 33rd wedding anniversary:

Another round of chemotherapy will be quickly approaching, along with our 3rd trip to Run For The Rose. We currently have 74 team members and we've raised $2,435 to help support brain cancer research through the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation. We would love to have everyone join us on April 10 to help support Dad, and so many other families just like mine. Please consider making a donation or joining our team that day! 

http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer

As always, we continue to be so thankful and blessed for the wonderful support system of friends and family on this journey. Thank you all, and thanks for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!