I have recently decided to run a half-marathon. Yes, 13.1 miles on December 14, 2014. My decision was pretty easy, I'm running for all those who can't, I'm running for those like my Dad.
The training has started, slowly, but it has started and there are moments where I run 4 miles and think, "Wow- 4 miles!", only to realize that 13.1 is pretty far away from 4 miles. But it's one step at a time, similar to how we have handled Dad's diagnosis and treatment- one step at a time.
I try to run as many 5ks as I can, and I'm constantly looking to beat my personal best- which is probably why I love running so much, because the only competition you have is the person looking back at you in the mirror. I also try to remind myself that a 12 minute mile is just as far as a 6 minute mile, and others running in the half-marathon in December can go ahead and thank runners like me for making themselves look really fast!
It's no secret that I'm a huge supporter of the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation, a foundation dedicated to brain cancer awareness and research, so it was a pretty easy choice to sign up for the 'Brain Power 5k' in Austin which directly supports this foundation.
The 'Brain Power 5k' is being held on September 7, 2014 in Cedar Park, Texas, and I thought it was just another wonderful opportunity to bring awareness to Brain Cancer and to help support such a wonderful foundation.
So for those of you in the Austin area, who love running 5ks and supporting such a wonderful cause, please join me in running the 'Brain Power 5k' supporting brain cancer research!
http://bp5k.kintera.org/bthobraincancer
We've had a great week since the last MRI and Dad is feeling great! I look around and I can't help but see how truly blessed we really are! Thanks for the continued prayers and thanks for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Living From One MRI To Another: Dad Update 6/17/2014
Living from one MRI to another. That's how it has felt for me since October 2013. I've focused on Dad's MRI results, I've focused on wondering if the MRI will show more tumor growth, I've focused on what the doctor will tell us about the MRI, and I've focused on all the treatments involved with the MRI. My life has centered around these MRI's for the last 8 months, and for the first time I'm going to really focus on breaking free from this habit- and just live.
I read once that to live is the rarest thing in the world, that most people just exist. To just exist couldn't be farther from the life that I want to live, and it couldn't be farther from the life I see Dad living.
So now we look ahead at the future, thank God for each day that we have and remind ourselves how blessed we that we made it through some of our darkest days with smiles on our faces.
Life continues on. And how beautiful is each and every day we have here- some days filled with disappointment, anxiety and fear, others filled with humor, love and grace, but each day surrounded by those that you love and those that love you unconditionally.
Days where we find out MRI results are always filled with anxiety and fear, a fear of results that show more tumor growth and a fear that the treatments aren't working. Yesterday was no exception. I don't even know how many of these appointments I have attended, or how many times I've sat with Dad as he received another round of treatment, but each time is the same feeling- that pit in my stomach wondering if the results will be good and wondering if all the treatment is working towards beating cancer.
On March 21, 2014, the MRI indicated what appeared to be tumor growth, and a fairly significant amount, in such a short amount of time since the prior MRI. We were all in shock. We cried, we feared the future, and we attempted to figure out our next plan of attack. The doctor at that time was not sure if the MRI indicated TRUE tumor growth or psuedo-progression.
(What is psuedo-progression? It is where post-treatment imaging changes in the tumor, where the tumor appears larger and/or brighter from greater contrast uptake as compared to the pre-treatment MRI image. These changes may mislead the patient and the doctor in thinking the tumor is getting worse due to true progression, when in fact these changes last only a short amount of time. In true psuedo-progression cases, eventually the tumor stabilizes or even shrinks as opposed to further growth if true progression.)
After the MRI on March 21, 2014, Dad started on an additional treatment, Avastin (by IV), and continued with chemotherapy by pill.
Two MRI's post March 21, 2014 (Yesterday 6/17/2014), the MRI is showing no additional growth, in fact, the MRI is almost identical to the first MRI post March 21, 2014. This MAY indicate that the initial thought that Dad's tumor was back, was in fact psuedo-progression. Which is WONDERFUL news! There is no actual way to determine if this is true tumor growth or not without a biopsy, therefore we are staying the course- continuing Avastin every 2 weeks and chemotherapy every 28 days. It's a new routine for us, it's a new normal for us, and we are slowly (very slowly) adjusting to our new normal.
Dr. Fleener was THRILLED with the MRI results and she was so pleased with how well Dad is doing- and so are we! He continues to impress me each day with how strong he has become and his ability to continue fighting!
Dad continues to work outside A LOT- from mulching the flower beds, keeping up with the garden, and mowing the grass, he stays busy and it's truly wonderful seeing him out doing things he loves to do. We are so incredibly blessed!
Keep praying and we will keep fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!
I read once that to live is the rarest thing in the world, that most people just exist. To just exist couldn't be farther from the life that I want to live, and it couldn't be farther from the life I see Dad living.
So now we look ahead at the future, thank God for each day that we have and remind ourselves how blessed we that we made it through some of our darkest days with smiles on our faces.
Life continues on. And how beautiful is each and every day we have here- some days filled with disappointment, anxiety and fear, others filled with humor, love and grace, but each day surrounded by those that you love and those that love you unconditionally.
Days where we find out MRI results are always filled with anxiety and fear, a fear of results that show more tumor growth and a fear that the treatments aren't working. Yesterday was no exception. I don't even know how many of these appointments I have attended, or how many times I've sat with Dad as he received another round of treatment, but each time is the same feeling- that pit in my stomach wondering if the results will be good and wondering if all the treatment is working towards beating cancer.
On March 21, 2014, the MRI indicated what appeared to be tumor growth, and a fairly significant amount, in such a short amount of time since the prior MRI. We were all in shock. We cried, we feared the future, and we attempted to figure out our next plan of attack. The doctor at that time was not sure if the MRI indicated TRUE tumor growth or psuedo-progression.
(What is psuedo-progression? It is where post-treatment imaging changes in the tumor, where the tumor appears larger and/or brighter from greater contrast uptake as compared to the pre-treatment MRI image. These changes may mislead the patient and the doctor in thinking the tumor is getting worse due to true progression, when in fact these changes last only a short amount of time. In true psuedo-progression cases, eventually the tumor stabilizes or even shrinks as opposed to further growth if true progression.)
After the MRI on March 21, 2014, Dad started on an additional treatment, Avastin (by IV), and continued with chemotherapy by pill.
Two MRI's post March 21, 2014 (Yesterday 6/17/2014), the MRI is showing no additional growth, in fact, the MRI is almost identical to the first MRI post March 21, 2014. This MAY indicate that the initial thought that Dad's tumor was back, was in fact psuedo-progression. Which is WONDERFUL news! There is no actual way to determine if this is true tumor growth or not without a biopsy, therefore we are staying the course- continuing Avastin every 2 weeks and chemotherapy every 28 days. It's a new routine for us, it's a new normal for us, and we are slowly (very slowly) adjusting to our new normal.
Dr. Fleener was THRILLED with the MRI results and she was so pleased with how well Dad is doing- and so are we! He continues to impress me each day with how strong he has become and his ability to continue fighting!
Dad continues to work outside A LOT- from mulching the flower beds, keeping up with the garden, and mowing the grass, he stays busy and it's truly wonderful seeing him out doing things he loves to do. We are so incredibly blessed!
Keep praying and we will keep fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Follow By Email Available!
Many of you may notice something new to the top of the blog page- there is now an area to type your email address and receive updates via email of any new blog posts! I hope this will help keep everyone updated on Dad's progress and our day to day fight to BTHO Brain Cancer!
If you have any problems subscribing to the blog, please let me know and I can help walk you through step by step on how to add your email address.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday!
If you have any problems subscribing to the blog, please let me know and I can help walk you through step by step on how to add your email address.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday!
It's The Little Things: Dad Update 6/11/2014
I can't help but look at our situation, look at Mom and Dad, and look at our friends and family surrounding us and think, "Man, we are so blessed!"
I read a quote recently that said: "If we all threw our problems on a pile and saw what everyone else was going through, we would quickly grab ours back." And how incredibly true is that! Sometimes we tend to focus so much on the bad, focus on what could be better, that we tend to forget what has already gone right for us, we forget how much good each situation has brought us.
Dad has had another great week, mowing the yard, working in the garden, keeping the house together, and improving on his speech every day. It's extremely challenging for him to have conversations with others, but my heart is so full when I see him going over to talk with friends he hasn't seen in a while- I love seeing his confidence increasing and his speech getting better and better.
Dad continues to have a good appetite and actually gained a pound at his last appointment- which is HUGE since he lost some weight after his surgery. He still needs to rest during the day, but I love seeing him out in the yard, I love seeing him laugh again, and I love seeing him respond to jokes on tv- it makes me realize that his cognitive skills that were impacted by the tumor are slowly coming back!
So you see, it's really the little things for us, these little things have become so huge for us, and daily we are reminded how blessed we really are.
Another true blessing came to us on Mother's Day weekend- we found out my sister, Genna, is pregnant with their first child, and the first grandchild for our family! Such perfect timing and such a blessing to welcome a child into this amazing family, as I truly can not wait to be an Aunt!
I continue to see so many others going through such difficult times in their lives, and my heart breaks for them. I pray they continue to see the good throughout it all, I pray they find that although their problems and struggles seem so big there is nothing too big for our God, and I pray that they are surrounded by people who will love, support and comfort them throughout it all- the same way we have been loved, supported and comforted during our journey.
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
Dad has become one of the "most beautiful people [I] have known". He's seen defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and has more than found his way out of the depths. He is appreciative, sensitive and understands that life has helped fill him with compassion, gentleness, and deep love. His beauty didn't just happen, it was formed over time, and I always knew my Dad was pretty amazing, but it took this life changing event for me to truly understand the kind of man he is, and I'm more than proud of my beautiful Dad.
With another MRI right around the corner, I ask for prayers for good results and for Dad to continue to BTHO Brain Cancer!
I read a quote recently that said: "If we all threw our problems on a pile and saw what everyone else was going through, we would quickly grab ours back." And how incredibly true is that! Sometimes we tend to focus so much on the bad, focus on what could be better, that we tend to forget what has already gone right for us, we forget how much good each situation has brought us.
Dad has had another great week, mowing the yard, working in the garden, keeping the house together, and improving on his speech every day. It's extremely challenging for him to have conversations with others, but my heart is so full when I see him going over to talk with friends he hasn't seen in a while- I love seeing his confidence increasing and his speech getting better and better.
Dad continues to have a good appetite and actually gained a pound at his last appointment- which is HUGE since he lost some weight after his surgery. He still needs to rest during the day, but I love seeing him out in the yard, I love seeing him laugh again, and I love seeing him respond to jokes on tv- it makes me realize that his cognitive skills that were impacted by the tumor are slowly coming back!
So you see, it's really the little things for us, these little things have become so huge for us, and daily we are reminded how blessed we really are.
Another true blessing came to us on Mother's Day weekend- we found out my sister, Genna, is pregnant with their first child, and the first grandchild for our family! Such perfect timing and such a blessing to welcome a child into this amazing family, as I truly can not wait to be an Aunt!
I continue to see so many others going through such difficult times in their lives, and my heart breaks for them. I pray they continue to see the good throughout it all, I pray they find that although their problems and struggles seem so big there is nothing too big for our God, and I pray that they are surrounded by people who will love, support and comfort them throughout it all- the same way we have been loved, supported and comforted during our journey.
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
Dad has become one of the "most beautiful people [I] have known". He's seen defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and has more than found his way out of the depths. He is appreciative, sensitive and understands that life has helped fill him with compassion, gentleness, and deep love. His beauty didn't just happen, it was formed over time, and I always knew my Dad was pretty amazing, but it took this life changing event for me to truly understand the kind of man he is, and I'm more than proud of my beautiful Dad.
With another MRI right around the corner, I ask for prayers for good results and for Dad to continue to BTHO Brain Cancer!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Dad's 8 Month Mark
"You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn. You're human, not perfect. You've been hurt, but you're alive. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy and to chase the things you love. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend."
Today marks 8 months since Dad's seizure. It's absolutely crazy to think that in only 8 months our entire lives have been turned around, shifted and completely changed- but it's also crazy to think that in such a short amount of time we've all been changed for the better. It is a true privilege to be alive, to be able to enjoy the ones you love and do the things that make you feel complete. There has, without a doubt, been sadness in our journey, but this sadness has been overshadowed by the true beauty I've witness from all those surrounding us, reminding us to put one foot in front of the other and take it all one day at a time.
I can't tell you how perfect my daily devotional has been for me lately, how it seems to say the exact thing I need to hear each and every day, and yesterday was no exception:
"Welcome challenging times as opportunities to trust Me. You have Me beside you and My Spirit within you, so no set of circumstances is too much for you to handle. When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of measuring your strength against those challenges. That calculation is certain to riddle you with anxiety. Without Me, you wouldn't make it past the first hurdle!"
Challenging times. These last 8 months have been more than challenging, as my faith has been tested over and over again- but what a truly wonderful 8 months, as I've been able to witness Dad's fight, Mom's determination, and the faith of so many people praying and thinking about us.
Dad had another Avastin treatment on Monday and met with his doctor to schedule the next MRI. She is so incredibly pleased with how well he is doing, feeling and his attitude- and I'm so proud that he's MY Dad. The anxiety is still there with another MRI right around the corner, although daily I'm reminding myself that we must walk by faith, not by sight- and daily, I'm reassured there is a much higher power controlling all of our lives.
We still deal with challenges daily, but I look back on how far we have come these last 8 months and I can't help but feel so proud to be part of this family and group of friends- people who have cared, loved and prayed for us throughout this entire journey- and what a journey it has been!
I've been asked how we have done it, how we have managed to keep our faith, keep our attitude and handle the situation at hand- and honestly, you just do it. I look back at the week following the seizure, the week in the hospital and the weeks following his surgery and sometimes I do wonder how we did it, how we managed to keep it all together when everything seemed to be falling apart. But with a little bit of sleep, a whole lot of help from friends and family, and even more faith- we made it through some of our darkest days. I have no doubt that there are dark days ahead, I have no doubt that there will be fear, anxiety and sadness that will meet me on this path, but I also have no doubt that no matter where this path leads me-there is a much higher power already there to help me through it.
Thank you to all who have loved, supported, prayed and just been there for us these last 8 months- It's never been easy, It's not always joyous, but it has truly been a gift to experience it all with each of you by our sides.
Today marks 8 months since Dad's seizure. It's absolutely crazy to think that in only 8 months our entire lives have been turned around, shifted and completely changed- but it's also crazy to think that in such a short amount of time we've all been changed for the better. It is a true privilege to be alive, to be able to enjoy the ones you love and do the things that make you feel complete. There has, without a doubt, been sadness in our journey, but this sadness has been overshadowed by the true beauty I've witness from all those surrounding us, reminding us to put one foot in front of the other and take it all one day at a time.
I can't tell you how perfect my daily devotional has been for me lately, how it seems to say the exact thing I need to hear each and every day, and yesterday was no exception:
"Welcome challenging times as opportunities to trust Me. You have Me beside you and My Spirit within you, so no set of circumstances is too much for you to handle. When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of measuring your strength against those challenges. That calculation is certain to riddle you with anxiety. Without Me, you wouldn't make it past the first hurdle!"
Challenging times. These last 8 months have been more than challenging, as my faith has been tested over and over again- but what a truly wonderful 8 months, as I've been able to witness Dad's fight, Mom's determination, and the faith of so many people praying and thinking about us.
Dad had another Avastin treatment on Monday and met with his doctor to schedule the next MRI. She is so incredibly pleased with how well he is doing, feeling and his attitude- and I'm so proud that he's MY Dad. The anxiety is still there with another MRI right around the corner, although daily I'm reminding myself that we must walk by faith, not by sight- and daily, I'm reassured there is a much higher power controlling all of our lives.
We still deal with challenges daily, but I look back on how far we have come these last 8 months and I can't help but feel so proud to be part of this family and group of friends- people who have cared, loved and prayed for us throughout this entire journey- and what a journey it has been!
I've been asked how we have done it, how we have managed to keep our faith, keep our attitude and handle the situation at hand- and honestly, you just do it. I look back at the week following the seizure, the week in the hospital and the weeks following his surgery and sometimes I do wonder how we did it, how we managed to keep it all together when everything seemed to be falling apart. But with a little bit of sleep, a whole lot of help from friends and family, and even more faith- we made it through some of our darkest days. I have no doubt that there are dark days ahead, I have no doubt that there will be fear, anxiety and sadness that will meet me on this path, but I also have no doubt that no matter where this path leads me-there is a much higher power already there to help me through it.
Thank you to all who have loved, supported, prayed and just been there for us these last 8 months- It's never been easy, It's not always joyous, but it has truly been a gift to experience it all with each of you by our sides.
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