October 5th hits us pretty hard each year. As that was the day Dad had his seizure...where we left the hospital with more questions than answers...where we had not even the slightest clue the journey we had ahead.
We celebrate this day as Dad's cancer-versary. It's a day that 5 years ago I wasn't sure how many of these we would get to celebrate. Or how many Father's days, or Christmas mornings...all those holidays that first year looked like our last.
And now, after lots of Christmas mornings, and Father's day celebrations, birthdays and anniversaries- we sit here FIVE years later, knowing that we've beat each and every statistic that's been placed against Dad.
His last MRI was on Tuesday, with our results on Wednesday- the MRI indicated that the "spot" everyone was worried was cancer growth, was actually getting smaller- meaning it was NOT cancer, but instead a stroke that was dissolving itself. Talk about some pretty great cancer-versary news!
Our appointment that day was over 2 hours past when we scheduled it...which could have been pretty frustrating...but...
I always make my Sunday School kids tell me their "rose" and "thorn" of the week- with them having to tell me how they saw God in BOTH of these moments. I remind them that it's pretty easy to see God in our "rose" moments, but often it's tough to see Him in the "thorn". Well, here's how we saw God in our "thorn"...
We sat there for 2 hours, waiting somewhat patiently for the news. And once we received the news and heard the WHY in the delay in our appointment I realized something...the delay was because we are lucky enough to have a doctor and staff that are Dad's advocates for the BEST care possible. They don't rely on family members to argue with insurance companies or radiologist- demanding the best care, demanding better answers- they instead take it upon themselves to advocate on our behalf. So I'll take those two hours of waiting, knowing that Dr. Fleener is fighting for the patient in the next room, just as hard as she is fighting for my Dad.
There's a lot to be said about Dad beating this "deadliest form of brain cancer" now for FIVE years- and there's a lot that has gone into these last five years. And I'm going to do my best to share each and every aspect that has made us successful.
First and foremost, it is Dad's unbelievable faith in Jesus Christ. His faith has strengthened mine in ways that he can't even begin to imagine. I have never seen someone look at death straight in the eyes, and instead of being fearful and worried- he went forward, leaning on his faith, and his family to help him through each day.
And I think all tied together would be the countless prayers of those that know Dad personally- and those that only know him through his wife or kids. I remember our pastor at the time telling us- ASK for prayers, have so many prayers going up that God says "Ok ok, I get it, y'all are praying for Larry." Have Him overwhelmed with prayer. And that's EXACTLY what has happened.
With these prayers comes an unbelievable group of people supporting us. From meals that were delivered to our house throughout his intense treatment- to cards in the mail, just letting Dad know that someone is thinking about him- to the phone calls and text messages- we have felt the love.
And faith, friends, and prayers are all incredibly important- but so is a good medical team. There is something to be said about a Cancer Clinic & Neurosurgeon office that makes you feel so loved and so very cared for each time you have an appointment. They've become our extended family, as we know there is no way we could have done all we've done these last 5 years without their love and support throughout it all.
We celebrate these FIVE incredible years appreciating each and every moment- from the BIG celebrations, to your average Tuesday night- each is a reminder of how lucky we truly are in this big fight. Dad's speech isn't perfect, and sometimes his short term memory has us all repeating things a couple of times- but we are exactly where God wanted us on this journey. We've become closer as a family in every possible way. We've learned that the plan we had for this life isn't turning out to be exactly what we thought it would be, but we've taken it all in as His perfect plan- one that we can't even begin to imagine or comprehend. I have learned in these last five years that there is purpose in pain, and that through some of our biggest "thorns" in life, there is true joy that can be seen- it's just sometimes you have to look a little harder.
We have seen God work in an unbelievable way through Dad, and I thank Him each and every day for carrying me through some of my darkest of days. God and I talked many of nights, where I doubted His journey for us, His strength, and my faith- and each time I shared my doubt, He found a way to lift me up in a way that I sometimes couldn't comprehend.
Some may ask how your faith can get stronger through some of the most difficult days of your life- but I always ask back, how could it not?
Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers- and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Friday, October 5, 2018
Friday, August 24, 2018
MRI Update. 8/24/2018
Yesterday my devotional read:
"When tests and challenges come at you from all sides, consider it a joyful opportunity....Instead of being overwhelmed by all the difficulties, grasp My hand with confident trust...One of the hardest part of dealing with multiple trials is waiting for their resolution. Since patience is part of the Spirit's fruit, He can help you endure the waiting. Don't try to get out of hard times prematurely. Instead, persevere patiently, knowing that perseverance must finish its work- making you mature and complete."
Yesterday was a long, and exhausting, day filled with appointments with our oncologist and neurosurgeon. And at the end of the day, we don't know a whole lot.
The good news- the area of concern from the last MRI did not change- which would typically indicate that this is not a glioblastoma or melanoma, as both these cancers tend to grow quickly. But it still doesn't tell us what it really is that's going on in Dad's brain. Dad's neurosurgeon was happy to see there was no change, but has not ruled out that this could be a slow growing tumor, or radiation damage, or just the way Dad's brain looks now post everything that's happened to him. He said, "If it were my Dad, I would wait it out- do another MRI and see if it tells us more."
So that's what we are going to do. Wait.
And that's where that devotional from yesterday comes in..."...He can help endure the waiting. Don't try to get out of hard times prematurely."
We will schedule another MRI in about 6 weeks and re-evaluate our next steps.
I am so thankful that Dad continues to feel well, and has not been experiencing any symptoms of re-growth, but I am also very realistic in our journey- we were always told it was a matter of WHEN the tumor returns, never IF. It will be difficult these next six weeks trying to patiently wait, with the back of my mind analyzing every headache, every speech difficulty....it will be difficult just not knowing what exactly is going on.
We feel as confident as we can feel with our plan, as we trust our amazing team of medical doctors 100%. Dad is living proof that there is clearly a hand in all this that is much greater than any doctor or treatment, and I'm working so hard on trusting this plan with Him.
I can't thank each of you enough for the countless prayers throughout the last (almost!) five years. We've been on an incredible journey, and we pray that the journey continues on- that this is just a small bump and whatever this is that is showing up on the MRI is truly nothing!
And I also can't thank our medical team enough for their countless support- Dr. Fleener and the entire staff at the Cancer Clinic have become family to us all. We trust Dr. Fleener with every aspect of Dad's treatment, and I can't imagine having any other doctor with us on this journey. And Dr. White without a doubt saved my Dad's life almost five years ago during surgery- and the second surgery. We are so thankful for this incredible team to help us manage all that life's thrown our way.
Thank you all for the prayers- keep them coming!- and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
"When tests and challenges come at you from all sides, consider it a joyful opportunity....Instead of being overwhelmed by all the difficulties, grasp My hand with confident trust...One of the hardest part of dealing with multiple trials is waiting for their resolution. Since patience is part of the Spirit's fruit, He can help you endure the waiting. Don't try to get out of hard times prematurely. Instead, persevere patiently, knowing that perseverance must finish its work- making you mature and complete."
Yesterday was a long, and exhausting, day filled with appointments with our oncologist and neurosurgeon. And at the end of the day, we don't know a whole lot.
The good news- the area of concern from the last MRI did not change- which would typically indicate that this is not a glioblastoma or melanoma, as both these cancers tend to grow quickly. But it still doesn't tell us what it really is that's going on in Dad's brain. Dad's neurosurgeon was happy to see there was no change, but has not ruled out that this could be a slow growing tumor, or radiation damage, or just the way Dad's brain looks now post everything that's happened to him. He said, "If it were my Dad, I would wait it out- do another MRI and see if it tells us more."
So that's what we are going to do. Wait.
And that's where that devotional from yesterday comes in..."...He can help endure the waiting. Don't try to get out of hard times prematurely."
We will schedule another MRI in about 6 weeks and re-evaluate our next steps.
I am so thankful that Dad continues to feel well, and has not been experiencing any symptoms of re-growth, but I am also very realistic in our journey- we were always told it was a matter of WHEN the tumor returns, never IF. It will be difficult these next six weeks trying to patiently wait, with the back of my mind analyzing every headache, every speech difficulty....it will be difficult just not knowing what exactly is going on.
We feel as confident as we can feel with our plan, as we trust our amazing team of medical doctors 100%. Dad is living proof that there is clearly a hand in all this that is much greater than any doctor or treatment, and I'm working so hard on trusting this plan with Him.
I can't thank each of you enough for the countless prayers throughout the last (almost!) five years. We've been on an incredible journey, and we pray that the journey continues on- that this is just a small bump and whatever this is that is showing up on the MRI is truly nothing!
And I also can't thank our medical team enough for their countless support- Dr. Fleener and the entire staff at the Cancer Clinic have become family to us all. We trust Dr. Fleener with every aspect of Dad's treatment, and I can't imagine having any other doctor with us on this journey. And Dr. White without a doubt saved my Dad's life almost five years ago during surgery- and the second surgery. We are so thankful for this incredible team to help us manage all that life's thrown our way.
Thank you all for the prayers- keep them coming!- and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
A Slight Update On Dad 8/14/2018
Okay, I have slight update on Dad. As always, I like to keep you all in the loop as we continue on this crazy ride...
Literally the same week we found out about Dad's brain tumor in 2013, we were told he also had melanoma on his face- literally near his tumor location. We dealt with the brain tumor first, and then we tackled the melanoma. A quick trip to the plastic surgeon, and we received "all clear". Dad's been visiting the dermatologist every 6 months for full body checks- which if you know me, you know why I STRESS these types of visits to everyone! Family history of melanoma means you're twice as likely to be diagnosed!
Fast forward to our last MRI and this "brain lesion", where we thought it could be Glioblastoma or a stroke....all of us completely forgetting about this melanoma diagnosis almost five years ago. I literally woke up one morning and thought- could this be melanoma on the brain? But before making any calls to our oncologist, I checked with the nurses in my family first, as I told them, "Not sure if this is a dumb question..."
Turns out, it wasn't.
Melanoma can appear like a "brain lesion" when moving to the brain. Hearing that from our oncologist made my heart sink. We scheduled a PET scan to rule out melanoma- and honestly I'm not sure what is worse, melanoma that has spread to the brain, or another glioblastoma.
We received preliminary PET scan reports last Friday, which did not indicate anything negative on the report, with our oncologist confirming Monday that there is no evidence of cancer anywhere on PET scan- only decreased metabolism on the left side of brain (but that is typically from radiation and surgery).
We were so relieved.
So now, we wait a little bit more- with an MRI next week, followed by appointments with both our oncologist and neurosurgeon. With each day that passes of Dad not showing any physical signs of tumor growth (slurred speech, headaches, right side weakness, etc) is a positive sign that the lesion is from an old stroke. Right now, we can't tell of anything Dad is doing physically that would indicate growth.
On August 18th we will celebrate Dad's birthday. We are so thankful for each and every day with Dad. He's strong, faithful, and above all, an amazing dad. He loves his family filled with girls (okay, and now some son in laws!), and thinks the world of his grand babies (and they do the same!). He's shown us all what it means to truly slow down and appreciate the little things in life.
We look forward to celebrating this birthday, and many more in Dad's future.
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers, and thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Literally the same week we found out about Dad's brain tumor in 2013, we were told he also had melanoma on his face- literally near his tumor location. We dealt with the brain tumor first, and then we tackled the melanoma. A quick trip to the plastic surgeon, and we received "all clear". Dad's been visiting the dermatologist every 6 months for full body checks- which if you know me, you know why I STRESS these types of visits to everyone! Family history of melanoma means you're twice as likely to be diagnosed!
Fast forward to our last MRI and this "brain lesion", where we thought it could be Glioblastoma or a stroke....all of us completely forgetting about this melanoma diagnosis almost five years ago. I literally woke up one morning and thought- could this be melanoma on the brain? But before making any calls to our oncologist, I checked with the nurses in my family first, as I told them, "Not sure if this is a dumb question..."
Turns out, it wasn't.
Melanoma can appear like a "brain lesion" when moving to the brain. Hearing that from our oncologist made my heart sink. We scheduled a PET scan to rule out melanoma- and honestly I'm not sure what is worse, melanoma that has spread to the brain, or another glioblastoma.
We received preliminary PET scan reports last Friday, which did not indicate anything negative on the report, with our oncologist confirming Monday that there is no evidence of cancer anywhere on PET scan- only decreased metabolism on the left side of brain (but that is typically from radiation and surgery).
We were so relieved.
So now, we wait a little bit more- with an MRI next week, followed by appointments with both our oncologist and neurosurgeon. With each day that passes of Dad not showing any physical signs of tumor growth (slurred speech, headaches, right side weakness, etc) is a positive sign that the lesion is from an old stroke. Right now, we can't tell of anything Dad is doing physically that would indicate growth.
On August 18th we will celebrate Dad's birthday. We are so thankful for each and every day with Dad. He's strong, faithful, and above all, an amazing dad. He loves his family filled with girls (okay, and now some son in laws!), and thinks the world of his grand babies (and they do the same!). He's shown us all what it means to truly slow down and appreciate the little things in life.
We look forward to celebrating this birthday, and many more in Dad's future.
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers, and thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
Is Vacation Bible School for the kids or the leaders? Dad Update 8/1/2018
There's not much of an update on Dad, except that he continues to feel well, and has no physical signs of any tumor growth. Each day that passes with no physical symptoms is a very encouraging sign that this little "blimp" on the MRI is in fact an old stroke.
This week our family (minus Dad!) has been thrown into Vacation Bible School at our church. I attended each and every year as a child, and I've been bringing my nephew for the last two years. This year both sisters, their three kids, Mom and I are all volunteering- and let me tell you, exhausted we are after each night! But it's been pretty amazing to watch God in each of these kids- makes the busy evenings seem completely worth it!
Part of my rotation involves me asking kids various questions and sharing different stories on specific topics- we talk about everything from being lonely and struggling, to worrying.
Monday's lesson was all about worrying. Talk about a total God moment for me! We kept having the kids say, "When you worry...Jesus Rescues!" I shared this message four different times, and each time thinking to myself how this was absolutely God's way of sending a message to ME. How He put me in that exact rotation so I could read these words over and over again:
"No matter what you're facing- or what you're worried about- remember, when you worry...Jesus rescues! Jesus knows everything that's going on in your life. Nothing is a surprise to him. So you really don't have to worry about anything. But if you do, he understands and helps you."
Such simple words. Simple words meant for a child to understand, but these simple words were exactly what my heart needed to hear.
I have been so weighed down by all the "what ifs" that we have ahead, and questioning our journey and how far we've come- but thankfully those simple words brought me back right where I needed to be. My heart, and my head, focused back on this journey with Him.
Because when I worried, He did truly rescue. He brought my thoughts filled with doubt and concern, fear and worry, back to a place where they needed to be- back to thoughts filled with faith and hope, joy and trust.
Still a couple more days of Vacation Bible School left for us, and I'm anxious to see how God plans to work even more in my heart- and in the hearts of each of the little ones in attendance. I find these moments where the exact words you need to hear come to you in the most simple form- you can't help but realize that God has his hand in it all.
Thank you all for the love and prayers you've sent our way since we received the not so wonderful news. I pray that I can come back here and share with you all wonderful news for Dad's next MRI.
This week our family (minus Dad!) has been thrown into Vacation Bible School at our church. I attended each and every year as a child, and I've been bringing my nephew for the last two years. This year both sisters, their three kids, Mom and I are all volunteering- and let me tell you, exhausted we are after each night! But it's been pretty amazing to watch God in each of these kids- makes the busy evenings seem completely worth it!
Part of my rotation involves me asking kids various questions and sharing different stories on specific topics- we talk about everything from being lonely and struggling, to worrying.
Monday's lesson was all about worrying. Talk about a total God moment for me! We kept having the kids say, "When you worry...Jesus Rescues!" I shared this message four different times, and each time thinking to myself how this was absolutely God's way of sending a message to ME. How He put me in that exact rotation so I could read these words over and over again:
"No matter what you're facing- or what you're worried about- remember, when you worry...Jesus rescues! Jesus knows everything that's going on in your life. Nothing is a surprise to him. So you really don't have to worry about anything. But if you do, he understands and helps you."
Such simple words. Simple words meant for a child to understand, but these simple words were exactly what my heart needed to hear.
I have been so weighed down by all the "what ifs" that we have ahead, and questioning our journey and how far we've come- but thankfully those simple words brought me back right where I needed to be. My heart, and my head, focused back on this journey with Him.
Because when I worried, He did truly rescue. He brought my thoughts filled with doubt and concern, fear and worry, back to a place where they needed to be- back to thoughts filled with faith and hope, joy and trust.
Still a couple more days of Vacation Bible School left for us, and I'm anxious to see how God plans to work even more in my heart- and in the hearts of each of the little ones in attendance. I find these moments where the exact words you need to hear come to you in the most simple form- you can't help but realize that God has his hand in it all.
Thank you all for the love and prayers you've sent our way since we received the not so wonderful news. I pray that I can come back here and share with you all wonderful news for Dad's next MRI.
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Another Update 7/25/2018
I can't say enough wonderful things about Dr. Fleener and our experience at the Cancer Clinic. It's been less than 24 hours of receiving our not so wonderful news, and we've already received a phone call and game plan going forward.
Our Neurosurgeon also can not confirm exactly what this is that showed up on Dad's MRI- but he does NOT think it looks like a glioma (PRAISE!). We will follow up with another MRI and appointments with both Dr. Fleener & Dr. White in a month. Until then, we wait. Y'all know how patient I am, so this should be fun.
For every day that passes with Dad not having any symptoms is a GREAT sign, as although it is uncommon to have a stroke in that particular part of the brain, it's even more uncommon for this to be another type of cancer that is showing up.
As we left the Cancer Clinic yesterday we saw a painted sign that said, "Family, Faith & Fleener"- we all laughed and agreed.
There is something to be said about this "little" clinic that we've been visiting for over 4.5 years- we are treated like family, and that has meant the world to us.
So prayer warriors, here comes your turn to show this cancer again what you've got- we've got one month filled with so much anxiety and stress as we wait to see what's going on, so I ask for prayers of comfort, strength, and for whatever this is to show no signs of growth- heck, let it disappear!
Thank you all for all the love and prayers you've sent since we received the news, we've felt it and Dad has too!
Quick Dad Update 7/24/2018
Well, the 45 minute drive back from College Station was filled with lots of tears, prayers, and trying to figure exactly how I would share with everyone the latest on Dad, so here we go....
Dad had his 4 month MRI and we were told there have been changes- a small 1 cm spot has appeared. A change so small that our oncologist and the radiologist isn’t able to determine exactly what it is- the debate is between tumor growth or the result of a stroke. I’ve never prayed so hard for a stroke in my life. Thankfully, we’ve got an incredible group of doctors working together to figure what they think this is and our next steps. So now, we wait- hopefully to hear something no later than tomorrow afternoon to determine what we should do next.
This is far from ideal, but if I’ve learned anything here last 4.5 years is this journey has involved many ups and downs- and no matter what we’ve been up against we’ve been able to handle it together. I have no doubt this same little bump will be the same. It’s almost too perfect that this page- full of stars and underlines- was my devotional for today:
“You are looking ahead at uncertainties, letting them unnerve you...yet I am always with you, holding you by your right hand...do not fear, for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you...”
Asking for a few extra prayers as we figure out our next steps. Like I tell myself before each MRI, whatever it is, we can figure it out. And I know this time will be no exception.
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Life Update. 6/26/2018
Okay, I know...I've been terrible with updates on this little blog. So I'll try to catch everyone up!
Dad has continued to live life- he helps mow grass, work in the garden, and watch his grandbabies- they are all growing up WAY too fast! He is still off all treatment!
In May we celebrated Reid turning ONE, and this past weekend we celebrated Hallie's 2nd birthday. They are all into just about everything, which keeps us all busy. And Dad loves having those little ones around!
We have our next MRI scheduled for the end of July, which will make it 4 months since our last MRI. And although Dad is not showing any typical signs of the tumor returning, it still is a very stressful day...heck, the weeks leading up to the MRI is also pretty darn stressful.
I remind myself that TODAY Dad does not have cancer. And looking too far ahead will just give me those knots in my stomach and worry in my mind- and I'm working so very hard to not have any of that!
We are hoping that if all is good on his next MRI, we will go 6 months between MRI's. That is the plan if all is good...gosh I'm praying all is good!
Dad is now over 4.5 YEARS post diagnosis, and we plan to celebrate BIG in October for his 5 YEAR cancer-versary.
Just today I watched an update on the Polio virus being used to treat brain cancer, and I sat in awe of how far treatment has come in just these last 4 years. We are so blessed that we are making such great strides, so that IF the tumor returns, we have more options for Dad's treatment. Options give us HOPE in this battle.
The clinical trial increases the survival rate of three years or longer from 4% of patients, to 21%. That's HUGE!
Which also gives me chills to see that statistic, as Dad has beat those odds, and is literally in the 4% of people with this diagnosis. It reminds me how incredibly blessed we are. Dad is truly a miracle.
As always, we are so blessed with an amazing medical staff helping us each step of the way- The Cancer Clinic and Dr. Fleener's team of nurses & staff have made our journey one that is filled with so much hope! And we are so blessed with this incredible group of friends & family that have continued to lift Dad up in prayer- we are so very aware that it's a BIG reason why he is still here today.
Like I've said before- when science and medicine can't explain why someone is here, how can you not believe?
Thank you all for walking on this journey with us, and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Dad has continued to live life- he helps mow grass, work in the garden, and watch his grandbabies- they are all growing up WAY too fast! He is still off all treatment!
In May we celebrated Reid turning ONE, and this past weekend we celebrated Hallie's 2nd birthday. They are all into just about everything, which keeps us all busy. And Dad loves having those little ones around!
We have our next MRI scheduled for the end of July, which will make it 4 months since our last MRI. And although Dad is not showing any typical signs of the tumor returning, it still is a very stressful day...heck, the weeks leading up to the MRI is also pretty darn stressful.
I remind myself that TODAY Dad does not have cancer. And looking too far ahead will just give me those knots in my stomach and worry in my mind- and I'm working so very hard to not have any of that!
We are hoping that if all is good on his next MRI, we will go 6 months between MRI's. That is the plan if all is good...gosh I'm praying all is good!
Dad is now over 4.5 YEARS post diagnosis, and we plan to celebrate BIG in October for his 5 YEAR cancer-versary.
Just today I watched an update on the Polio virus being used to treat brain cancer, and I sat in awe of how far treatment has come in just these last 4 years. We are so blessed that we are making such great strides, so that IF the tumor returns, we have more options for Dad's treatment. Options give us HOPE in this battle.
The clinical trial increases the survival rate of three years or longer from 4% of patients, to 21%. That's HUGE!
Which also gives me chills to see that statistic, as Dad has beat those odds, and is literally in the 4% of people with this diagnosis. It reminds me how incredibly blessed we are. Dad is truly a miracle.
As always, we are so blessed with an amazing medical staff helping us each step of the way- The Cancer Clinic and Dr. Fleener's team of nurses & staff have made our journey one that is filled with so much hope! And we are so blessed with this incredible group of friends & family that have continued to lift Dad up in prayer- we are so very aware that it's a BIG reason why he is still here today.
Like I've said before- when science and medicine can't explain why someone is here, how can you not believe?
Thank you all for walking on this journey with us, and thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Thursday, June 14, 2018
Happy Father's Day Lar!
Another special Father's Day for the Glenz family, as Dad continues to defy the odds and reminds us all that life is truly filled with little miracles every now and then.
Each Father's Day post-diagnosis have been special to our family, as we get to take a day and celebrate one of our favorite guys, the man that has continued to keep this family together with his strength, determination and smile.
So per usual, here's my Father's Day letter to the best daddy in the whole world.
Dear Dad,
This Father's Day feels even more special for some reason. Maybe it's because you have three little ones that love their grandpa so very much, or maybe it's because I look at the calendar and realize that it's been over 4.5 years since we feared you not being around for Father's Day.
Cancer has done a pretty unique thing to our family. It has truly provided light, in a world that has felt so very dark, it has provided love, especially when we couldn't possibly feel anything but hate, and it has provided us a perspective that life is all but too short- that we should live it to the fullest. And as much as cancer has been part of all those little lessons, the heart of those lessons comes from the person that has fought this cancer- the heart of those lessons has come from you.
You have taught us each lessons that we could never begin to find the right words to share. You've shown determination, faith, and an unbelievable amount of strength. We are all so lucky to have you as our Dad.
And as we approach another MRI, I sit back and look at the last 4.5 years- years filled with tears and defeat, and also some of the most joyful times of my life. You've managed to change our thoughts, our fears, and our concerns- as we focus now on the gift of life we've been given. We focus on you- on family- and on enjoying each day.
I hope you know how much we love, appreciate and realize that you're gift here in the physical world is clearly needed for others- that God has chosen you to defy the odds and bring hope to so many.
Happy Father's Day to the best Dad in the entire world- Happy Father's Day to my hero.
Much Love,
Your Favorite Daughter- Whitney
Each Father's Day post-diagnosis have been special to our family, as we get to take a day and celebrate one of our favorite guys, the man that has continued to keep this family together with his strength, determination and smile.
So per usual, here's my Father's Day letter to the best daddy in the whole world.
Dear Dad,
This Father's Day feels even more special for some reason. Maybe it's because you have three little ones that love their grandpa so very much, or maybe it's because I look at the calendar and realize that it's been over 4.5 years since we feared you not being around for Father's Day.
Cancer has done a pretty unique thing to our family. It has truly provided light, in a world that has felt so very dark, it has provided love, especially when we couldn't possibly feel anything but hate, and it has provided us a perspective that life is all but too short- that we should live it to the fullest. And as much as cancer has been part of all those little lessons, the heart of those lessons comes from the person that has fought this cancer- the heart of those lessons has come from you.
You have taught us each lessons that we could never begin to find the right words to share. You've shown determination, faith, and an unbelievable amount of strength. We are all so lucky to have you as our Dad.
And as we approach another MRI, I sit back and look at the last 4.5 years- years filled with tears and defeat, and also some of the most joyful times of my life. You've managed to change our thoughts, our fears, and our concerns- as we focus now on the gift of life we've been given. We focus on you- on family- and on enjoying each day.
I hope you know how much we love, appreciate and realize that you're gift here in the physical world is clearly needed for others- that God has chosen you to defy the odds and bring hope to so many.
Happy Father's Day to the best Dad in the entire world- Happy Father's Day to my hero.
Much Love,
Your Favorite Daughter- Whitney
Thursday, May 10, 2018
Happy Mother's Day Mutz!
Mother's Day is quickly approaching, and I've taken a few moments today to reflect on my amazing Mom. So here's my Mother's Day letter to you Mutz!
Dear Mom (And everyone's favorite Mutz!),
Before you start with that whole, "You give me too much credit" line that you love to tell me, please read each word and allow yourself to be given the credit that you very much so deserve.
You have been our absolute rock throughout Dad's cancer journey- one that we were told would be short lived, with you telling each and every doctor "not us, we are going to beat this." You had faith in this journey far before I could ever see it. You had faith in this process, and each time life looked far too difficult for us to travel, you managed to guide us, one step at a time.
Your strength each and every day shines through with even the smallest of tasks. You've quickly learned how to take care of the yard & pool, and you continue to do these things and include Dad as much as he can be included- because you want to make sure he sees his purpose here. You are so patient with us all, including Dad, as you have taken our "new normal" and used it to make life even better.
Thinking through every day life, I can't imagine what we would do without you holding it all together. You're one of the most reliable people I know, reminding us each day that we should strive to be exactly like that.
Your love for your family can be seen as you love, care, and spoil those three grand children you have. There is a reason why they love spending time with you, as you don't just spoil them with toys & chocolate (because that happens a lot too!), you spoil them even more with your love and attention.
You and I have a pretty special bond- one that many will never truly understand. I watched at a very young age as you cared and loved your mother during her cancer journey. And the older I got, the more I realized the sacrifices you made to be with her- the more I realized what an incredible daughter and caregiver you truly were. Granny was so very lucky to have you there with her throughout it all. And I've taken those learning moments from when I was very young and used them throughout Dad's cancer journey.
We've sat on the couch and cried many nights while Dad got ready for bed, always reminding ourselves that we can cry to each other, but never to Dad. You taught me how to stay positive in some of our darkest moments. We relied on one another for doctor appointments and medical bills- as we tried to figure out Medicare and this whole world of Oncology. We relied on one another to just get by some days.
So this Mother's Day- and really every day- I hope you are reminded of how much you are loved, cared, and looked up to in so many ways. We are all so blessed to call you Mom.
Much Love, Your Favorite Daughter :)
Whitney
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Post Run For The Rose Update. 4/12/2018
"Your relationship with Me transcends all your circumstances. This is why you can praise Me and enjoy My Presence in the midst of the darkest difficulties. To find Me in such times, you have to really exert your faith; but I am always near."
It seems much easier for us to praise Him as life has been so very positive for us right now, but then I have to think, the TRUE reason why we appreciate these times right now, is because we have had some of the darkest of times. But even through those dark times, we found Him very near- guiding us through it all, giving us the strength to rely on Him to carry us, at times when we felt far too weak to go through it all alone.
We were so blessed to make our 5th trip to Run For The Rose in Houston last weekend, where we had 70 team members, and we've raised over $6,000 THIS year alone.
Which means, in the last 4.5 years of Dad's brain cancer journey, we've been able to donate $33,595 to support brain cancer research.
Y'all, that is pretty darn incredible.
This year was a bit interesting for me, as I didn't feel nearly as prepared, or as organized, as I typically am when it comes to the Run For The Rose- but I had some good reasons! Friday & Saturday I was in Austin celebrating one of my best friends marry her best friend. This best friend of mine even asked me before she set her date when the Run For The Rose would take place, so that she could make sure there wasn't a conflict. And as sweet as that was, I could not have ANYONE plan a wedding around my schedule. The wedding happened to fall on the same weekend as the run, and although I was exhausted Sunday after leaving the wedding in Austin around 11 pm, to make it to Houston by 7 am Sunday- the meaning behind the entire weekend was still all very much there.
Someone asked me how I did it- how I managed to be all in at the wedding Saturday night, knowing I would get (basically) a nap before the Run For The Rose- and you just figure it out for those that you love. I had a weekend filled with some of my absolute best friends as we danced and celebrated our friend- and a weekend filled with my family as we supported Dad and the countless other brain cancer families.
I mean, does it get any better than that?
Dad looked great at the Run For The Rose, and he did such a great job during the "Survivor Walk"- which always manages to have me in tears. We are so proud of Dad, and Mom, for all the sacrifices and the strength they have shown throughout it all.
Thank you all who have loved, supported, and prayed for us throughout Dad's journey. We know we are in fact the lucky ones in this journey- Dad has beat each and every statistic placed on him- and for that we are so very blessed. We've been given some incredible quality time with Dad, and we continue to praise Him for all the strength He's provided to us throughout this journey. There were times we didn't think we would survive it all, but with His hand leading us through the journey, it was all possible.
Thank you all again for making our 5th trip to Run For The Rose so incredibly successful, and thanks for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Holy Cow- It's Been 4.5 YEARS? Dad's 4.5 Year Cancer-Versary. 4/5/2018
I think the title says it all- HOLY COW! Y'all, today marks 4.5 YEARS since Dad's seizure. A day we consider Dad's "Cancer-versary".
We still can't believe it's been 4.5 years- as it all seems like FOREVER ago that we heard those words "malignant tumor", and it also seems like just yesterday that we sat in the ER trying to figure out exactly WHAT was going on with Dad.
We've learned a lot about ourselves these last 4.5 years.
I've personally grown spiritually in ways I didn't think I could- as this journey had me shaking my fist at God for the first 6 months or so, and yet He never left my side, no matter how angry I was. No matter how much I questioned this journey.
It's pretty amazing to find that someone can love you SO much, that no matter how angry, no matter how hurt, no matter how upset you are with them, they never let go of your hand, or your heart. My personal relationship with Jesus Christ has given me a new sense of comfort in this crazy world. I still get anxiety over scans, or when Dad has a headache, or days when Dad is confused- but I've found this peace with it all- that it is what it is. That we've been given FAR more time than we were ever promised- so at this point, we've figured it out before when things looked bad- I have no doubt that we will figure it out again IF something happens in the future.
The last 4.5 years were nothing that we imagined our life to be like before Dad's seizure- but that's what is so interesting about life, it's never what we expected.
We have a new normal. And sure, there are many things we wish were different. We wish Dad had more strength. We wish his speech was where it was before his seizure. We wish Dad NEVER had brain cancer.
But IF these things were different, if Dad was never diagnosed- I wonder if our relationship with Jesus Christ would be as strong. I wonder if we would be HAPPY to take lots of family pictures for every special occasion. I wonder if we would appreciate life as much as we do.
These last 4.5 years have us celebrating SMALL victories- and we pray the next 4.5 years (and more!) will have us doing the same. We are so proud of Dad for his unbelievable amount of strength and determine- and we are equally as proud of Mom for her strength and determination. These two have shown us all what it is like to have complete faith in time when faith seems no where to be found.
This weekend we get to celebrate Dad's 4.5 YEARS as a brain cancer SURVIVOR by attending one of our favorite events, Run For The Rose. It's a little 5k that is doing such BIG things in the brain cancer community. We are praying for good weather and for all to have a great time. We are so blessed that we've raised over $5,000 this year alone, and are bringing 70 participants on Dad's team. We thank each of you who have walked with us in this journey, thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
We still can't believe it's been 4.5 years- as it all seems like FOREVER ago that we heard those words "malignant tumor", and it also seems like just yesterday that we sat in the ER trying to figure out exactly WHAT was going on with Dad.
We've learned a lot about ourselves these last 4.5 years.
I've personally grown spiritually in ways I didn't think I could- as this journey had me shaking my fist at God for the first 6 months or so, and yet He never left my side, no matter how angry I was. No matter how much I questioned this journey.
It's pretty amazing to find that someone can love you SO much, that no matter how angry, no matter how hurt, no matter how upset you are with them, they never let go of your hand, or your heart. My personal relationship with Jesus Christ has given me a new sense of comfort in this crazy world. I still get anxiety over scans, or when Dad has a headache, or days when Dad is confused- but I've found this peace with it all- that it is what it is. That we've been given FAR more time than we were ever promised- so at this point, we've figured it out before when things looked bad- I have no doubt that we will figure it out again IF something happens in the future.
The last 4.5 years were nothing that we imagined our life to be like before Dad's seizure- but that's what is so interesting about life, it's never what we expected.
We have a new normal. And sure, there are many things we wish were different. We wish Dad had more strength. We wish his speech was where it was before his seizure. We wish Dad NEVER had brain cancer.
But IF these things were different, if Dad was never diagnosed- I wonder if our relationship with Jesus Christ would be as strong. I wonder if we would be HAPPY to take lots of family pictures for every special occasion. I wonder if we would appreciate life as much as we do.
These last 4.5 years have us celebrating SMALL victories- and we pray the next 4.5 years (and more!) will have us doing the same. We are so proud of Dad for his unbelievable amount of strength and determine- and we are equally as proud of Mom for her strength and determination. These two have shown us all what it is like to have complete faith in time when faith seems no where to be found.
This weekend we get to celebrate Dad's 4.5 YEARS as a brain cancer SURVIVOR by attending one of our favorite events, Run For The Rose. It's a little 5k that is doing such BIG things in the brain cancer community. We are praying for good weather and for all to have a great time. We are so blessed that we've raised over $5,000 this year alone, and are bringing 70 participants on Dad's team. We thank each of you who have walked with us in this journey, thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
MRI Results. 3/28/2018
Dad's last MRI showed NO signs of tumor. He is STILL considered to be in remission after 4.5 years fighting this cancer!
Thank you all for the love, support and prayers!
Thank you all for the love, support and prayers!
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
A Life Filled With Lemons....And ONE Month Until Run For The Rose 3/7/2018
Tomorrow will mark ONE month until we take our 5th trip to Run For The Rose- a little 5k that does BIG things in the brain cancer community.
We are honored to be part of such an incredible organization that has been with us every step of the way in Dad's 4.5 year cancer journey. We are also honored to share that because of the love and support of our friends and family, we've donated OVER $30,000 these last 4.5 years in Dad's honor to this foundation. Dad is making such a huge impact in the brain cancer community.
There is still time to join our team, make a donation, or purchase a Team Lar t-shirt. Email me at glenzwhitney@gmail.com for more information, or click on our team page!
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Just Monday, Dad was out mowing grass, and we all celebrated that small victory- as it's still unreal to us that almost 4.5 years later Dad is with us and doing things we never imagined he would still be able to do. It's clear that God has worked a miracle in Dad. A miracle that I hold tight to often, reminding myself that even through these difficult times God has thrown my way in other forms- God's hand is clearly in it all.
Because lately y'all, I've needed to remind myself often that God can heal. That God can perform miracles. That God is this constant presence in our lives, even in moments when it feels like life is filled with lemons.
They always say, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." And that sounds so simple. Take something negative and make it positive, that's what good Christians do, right?
Although, ask any good Christian and I think what makes them a "good" one is their struggle with their faith- it's the the times when you want to shake your fist at God (and heck, sometimes we do!) that we find our faith strengthen even more. It's through this shaking of our fist and being angry with God, we find comfort in our prayers and conversations- because we are throwing our concerns, our worries, and our problems on Him. Through these difficult conversations we are begging Him to help us through it all. Through our fist shaking, God is helping turn the pain and hurt into love and comfort.
As a Christian, it's so hard for me to understand what someone does who doesn't have this faith. Because life can hand you so many lemons- and sometimes you're just tired of trying to make lemonade alone.
I promise if you look hard enough into each situation where God's handed you a lemon..or two...or seven...you'll find His hand in it. You'll find that He puts people in your life to make the lemonade for you- to help you through the moments that you find are far too difficult for you to handle alone.
Family and friends have been key in these last 4.5 years- and also, in these last few months of lemons. Family and friends that see when you're faith is struggling- to remind you to continue praying, to ask God to heal- but also ask God to put in your heart that even if He doesn't, to have faith and trust.
We thank you all for being on this journey with us for 4.5 years, and we ask for continued prayers that our next MRI is one that is good and clear- but if it isn't, we ask that you pour out these prayers for comfort, for healing, and for faith in this journey.
I'm not sure how many more lemons God plans on handing me in this lifetime, but what I am sure of, is the friends & family on this journey with me- ones that will make the lemonade for me, heck even some that will add a little vodka, to help me get through it all with a heart filled with faith, and a mind filled with trust.
We are honored to be part of such an incredible organization that has been with us every step of the way in Dad's 4.5 year cancer journey. We are also honored to share that because of the love and support of our friends and family, we've donated OVER $30,000 these last 4.5 years in Dad's honor to this foundation. Dad is making such a huge impact in the brain cancer community.
There is still time to join our team, make a donation, or purchase a Team Lar t-shirt. Email me at glenzwhitney@gmail.com for more information, or click on our team page!
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Just Monday, Dad was out mowing grass, and we all celebrated that small victory- as it's still unreal to us that almost 4.5 years later Dad is with us and doing things we never imagined he would still be able to do. It's clear that God has worked a miracle in Dad. A miracle that I hold tight to often, reminding myself that even through these difficult times God has thrown my way in other forms- God's hand is clearly in it all.
Because lately y'all, I've needed to remind myself often that God can heal. That God can perform miracles. That God is this constant presence in our lives, even in moments when it feels like life is filled with lemons.
They always say, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." And that sounds so simple. Take something negative and make it positive, that's what good Christians do, right?
Although, ask any good Christian and I think what makes them a "good" one is their struggle with their faith- it's the the times when you want to shake your fist at God (and heck, sometimes we do!) that we find our faith strengthen even more. It's through this shaking of our fist and being angry with God, we find comfort in our prayers and conversations- because we are throwing our concerns, our worries, and our problems on Him. Through these difficult conversations we are begging Him to help us through it all. Through our fist shaking, God is helping turn the pain and hurt into love and comfort.
As a Christian, it's so hard for me to understand what someone does who doesn't have this faith. Because life can hand you so many lemons- and sometimes you're just tired of trying to make lemonade alone.
I promise if you look hard enough into each situation where God's handed you a lemon..or two...or seven...you'll find His hand in it. You'll find that He puts people in your life to make the lemonade for you- to help you through the moments that you find are far too difficult for you to handle alone.
Family and friends have been key in these last 4.5 years- and also, in these last few months of lemons. Family and friends that see when you're faith is struggling- to remind you to continue praying, to ask God to heal- but also ask God to put in your heart that even if He doesn't, to have faith and trust.
We thank you all for being on this journey with us for 4.5 years, and we ask for continued prayers that our next MRI is one that is good and clear- but if it isn't, we ask that you pour out these prayers for comfort, for healing, and for faith in this journey.
I'm not sure how many more lemons God plans on handing me in this lifetime, but what I am sure of, is the friends & family on this journey with me- ones that will make the lemonade for me, heck even some that will add a little vodka, to help me get through it all with a heart filled with faith, and a mind filled with trust.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
Run For The Rose & Dad Update 2/27/2018
So here we are, already heading into March and I've been terrible about keeping everyone updated on this little blog. But y'all, no news is good news!
Dad continues to do well- he's exercising daily, continues to feel well, and just enjoying life. Our next MRI is at the end of March, and we continue to pray that all looks good and Dad can continue on without any treatment!
April 5 will mark 4.5 years since Dad's seizure. It's amazing to think how far we've come in 4.5 years- it's also pretty amazing to see God's hand in it all, as we were told Dad had just 14 months to live.
4.5 years seems pretty incredible.
But it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies- in fact we've struggled these last 4.5 years. We've struggled in finding hope in our situation, we struggled in finding faith in our situation, we struggled in just figuring out the world of cancer.
Bottom line- we struggled.
But through this devastating disease, we found we struggled less when we were surrounded by friends & family, and we struggled less once we found the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation.
I remember the day so very clearly, as I googled Brain Cancer Organizations- and up came "Dr Marnie Rose Foundation." As I read more about the organization, I realized it was exactly the type of organization we needed to be involved with- it was exactly the type of organization that could help us make a difference!
So here we are, on our 5th trip to Run For The Rose- where we've donated over $27,000 to this incredible organization in Dad's honor- and for our 5th trip, we want to do even more!
Please help us in raising funds so we can top over $30,000 to the Rose Foundation OR join our team and help us have one of the LARGEST teams at the event.
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Please visit the website above to register for the run, which takes place on April 8 at NRG OR make a donation to this incredible foundation.
Three years ago I wrote this Facebook update- it proves some things never change, and some quotes still ring true even years later:
"We decide the first day of our cancer diagnosis whether we are gong to be victims or survivors. We decide to muster up all our strength to fight to win. We decide to stay positive and not let cancer define us. We decide how we are going to handle each day. Yes, there are good days and bad days, but your attitude determines each day. Hold on to your hopes, dreams, faith and determination, and gather your strength from your support system, because in the fight against cancer, we cannot give up."
Thank you all for your continued love and support, and thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Dad continues to do well- he's exercising daily, continues to feel well, and just enjoying life. Our next MRI is at the end of March, and we continue to pray that all looks good and Dad can continue on without any treatment!
April 5 will mark 4.5 years since Dad's seizure. It's amazing to think how far we've come in 4.5 years- it's also pretty amazing to see God's hand in it all, as we were told Dad had just 14 months to live.
4.5 years seems pretty incredible.
But it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies- in fact we've struggled these last 4.5 years. We've struggled in finding hope in our situation, we struggled in finding faith in our situation, we struggled in just figuring out the world of cancer.
Bottom line- we struggled.
But through this devastating disease, we found we struggled less when we were surrounded by friends & family, and we struggled less once we found the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation.
I remember the day so very clearly, as I googled Brain Cancer Organizations- and up came "Dr Marnie Rose Foundation." As I read more about the organization, I realized it was exactly the type of organization we needed to be involved with- it was exactly the type of organization that could help us make a difference!
So here we are, on our 5th trip to Run For The Rose- where we've donated over $27,000 to this incredible organization in Dad's honor- and for our 5th trip, we want to do even more!
Please help us in raising funds so we can top over $30,000 to the Rose Foundation OR join our team and help us have one of the LARGEST teams at the event.
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Please visit the website above to register for the run, which takes place on April 8 at NRG OR make a donation to this incredible foundation.
Three years ago I wrote this Facebook update- it proves some things never change, and some quotes still ring true even years later:
"We decide the first day of our cancer diagnosis whether we are gong to be victims or survivors. We decide to muster up all our strength to fight to win. We decide to stay positive and not let cancer define us. We decide how we are going to handle each day. Yes, there are good days and bad days, but your attitude determines each day. Hold on to your hopes, dreams, faith and determination, and gather your strength from your support system, because in the fight against cancer, we cannot give up."
Thank you all for your continued love and support, and thank you all for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Run For The Rose 2018
I can't believe we are preparing for our next trip to Run For The Rose- how can it be a year has flown by!?!?
Dad continues to do great, as his last MRI showed no signs of tumor and he is still off of all treatments. Our next appointment is in March, and we continue pray that he remains in remission.
We would love to have each of you join our team this year for a little 5k that continues to do BIG things in the brain cancer community. It all takes place on April 8 @ 8 am, where each Survivor will make the emotional walk across the finish line- where tears fill many eyes as we watch the strength and determination of those who have fought this difficult battle.
And then the race begins! 8:15 am the 5k will start, followed by the 1k at 8:45 am. You can walk, run, or just hang out with Dad at the finish line, and watch all the maroon shirts cross the finish line.
Speaking of maroon shirts- we are ordering again this year! Let me know if you would like a new shirt for this year's run (these are the same as our prior year shirts!). Email me at glenzwhitney@gmail.com.
When the race ends, the party begins! So many events for kids to participate in, as well as lots of food and drinks (all free!).
Please consider joining our team for this event or making a donation to this incredible foundation that has done so much for my family, and the countless other families faced with a brain cancer diagnosis.
Visit our team page:
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Thank you all for your love and continued support throughout Dad's fight- and as always, thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Dad continues to do great, as his last MRI showed no signs of tumor and he is still off of all treatments. Our next appointment is in March, and we continue pray that he remains in remission.
We would love to have each of you join our team this year for a little 5k that continues to do BIG things in the brain cancer community. It all takes place on April 8 @ 8 am, where each Survivor will make the emotional walk across the finish line- where tears fill many eyes as we watch the strength and determination of those who have fought this difficult battle.
And then the race begins! 8:15 am the 5k will start, followed by the 1k at 8:45 am. You can walk, run, or just hang out with Dad at the finish line, and watch all the maroon shirts cross the finish line.
Speaking of maroon shirts- we are ordering again this year! Let me know if you would like a new shirt for this year's run (these are the same as our prior year shirts!). Email me at glenzwhitney@gmail.com.
When the race ends, the party begins! So many events for kids to participate in, as well as lots of food and drinks (all free!).
Please consider joining our team for this event or making a donation to this incredible foundation that has done so much for my family, and the countless other families faced with a brain cancer diagnosis.
Visit our team page:
http://drmarnierosefoundation.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer
Thank you all for your love and continued support throughout Dad's fight- and as always, thank you for helping us BTHO Brain Cancer!
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
2018 Is Upon Us...Dad Update 1/3/2018
I feel like each time I log into this blog I have to apologize, as my updates become shorter and shorter- and the time between them gets longer and longer.
But we have been busy living LIFE- and loving each moment of it! Dad has started exercising during the day- he's up to about 18 minutes of walking- which is HUGE! We are working on Dad gaining more strength and Dr. Fleener suggested exercising. And what Dr. Fleener says, Dad never has a problem doing.
Dad is still doing speech therapy daily, as we continue to see small improvements in his memory and speech. His brain is getting stronger and stronger each day!
We've scheduled our next MRI for March, and until then we continue to pray for no new signs of tumor growth and be so thankful for no more chemotherapy, radiation or Avastin.
We hope you each had a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year!
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