I Finally Googled 'Glioblastoma'

I've sat at my computer everyday since the diagnosis and attempted to look up 'Glioblastoma'. I've gone to Google.com and sat and stared at the blank search bar waiting for the strength and courage to look up this type of cancer- but I couldn't find the strength. I kept telling myself that there was no point in researching this, as any type of cancer has "horror" stories online. I only had the courage to look up "brain cancer"- because for some reason this topic felt safer to me than 'Glioblastoma'- a more specific and aggressive type of brain cancer.

But finally, finally on 12/5/2013 I did it....I looked up 'Glioblastoma'. Although my search contained a few more words- 'Glioblastoma Survival Stories'. I realized, I didn't want to read the statistics that make me anxious, nervous, and scared about the future- I wanted to read the stories about people JUST like my Dad. And I did, I read story after story of people (both young and old) who survived this type of cancer, and not only survived- but thrived. Every story seemed to have a common theme: Faith and Attitude. Two things that my dad, my family and my friends all seem to have right now, especially my Mom. 

My Mom is truly a remarkable person. She is always talking about the future and tells me "We aren't going to sit here and wait to die, we are going to live." She has this faith- this faith that everything is going to be alright and she reassures me of this daily. She has never asked "Why us?", she has never questioned God's plan for my Dad and our family, and she has never once been angry with the situation. To me, to be able to handle the situation the way she is handling everything- that is true faith in God. Her faith completely blows me away. I strive each day to be like her- to have this unconditional faith in the situation and in this higher power- and most days, most moments I have this faith. But there are moments where I question the situation- I question "Why MY Dad?" and in those moments I have to quote Melissa Maass (a truly unbelievable Christian, who is practically another sister to me), who told me the DAY my Dad was diagnosed, "God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers." And I think she's right. 

I look at the future, these stories of people surviving, and I look forward to writing my Dad's story. I love sharing his story- his story of strength and determination. I keep hearing that it's not a matter of if this type of cancer will return, it's when. Well since no doctor, no person, really knows "when" this may happen, I'll choose to put my faith in another power.

Another week is done and we have 5 more radiation treatments to go! Dad has been counting them down, as these last couple of weeks have been the most difficult. He's experiencing some stomach issues and is extremely tired- but is so strong and determined. December 20th is going to be a wonderful day and I can't wait to be the one to take him to his final treatment.