Shaking My Fist. Dad Update 3/12/2015

I was reminded once again of those wonderful words: "Coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous." As I find it no coincidence that I came across a Facebook page for a woman so bravely battling cancer, and I realized it was the same woman who's open letter I read to Brittany Maynard (the young lady who ended her life after a brain cancer diagnosis), in which I felt as though she took some of the words right out of my heart. 

I finally made the connection. I finally realized that the story of Kara Tippetts is one that I can relate to in many way, as I know the fear of hearing "terminal cancer". 

Kara so beautifully states, "The world says I should be angry, that I should be shaking my fist at God. But I wanted them to share this story, that suffering isn't a mistake, and it isn't the absence of God's goodness, because he's present in pain."

I can not deny my own shaking of fist at God during those first couple of weeks after Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. I remember so many nights where I would have long conversations with God, and with tears in my eyes I would question why he would do something like this to MY Dad. Why he would hurt MY family. Why he would give us a path as difficult as cancer. 

My conversations started with hate, and with tears in my eyes, they ended with thankfulness. I can't explain how the hate turned into something so positive, but what I can explain is the overwhelming amount of comfort I have when times are difficult, and I know there is someone so much greater controlling it all. Someone who I can talk to at any moment. Someone who listens to me through the tears. Someone who provides strength, in moments where my body and mind are filled with fear. I do not wish for anyone to be on a path like ours, one filled with ups and downs, good and bad days, and moments where the world does seem to be falling apart, but through the difficult moments, through the moments where it all seems to be going wrong- we see the glimpse of hope, faith and trust in this journey. We realize that God picked MY family for this journey. He felt as though MY family was strong enough to battle this storm. He felt as though MY family has the hope, faith and trust to take something so difficult, and turn it into something positive. 

Conversations have been made lately among friends, where we've discussed the "what if" we didn't believe. We discussed trying to understand those who do not have a relationship with God. We discussed trying to understand what could cause us to continuously shake our fist at God, instead of seeing the beauty in our suffering. 

It's something I'm not sure I will ever understand. And I'm ok with that. I don't think I ever want to know a life that doesn't involve my faith. It's this faith that has helped me find joy in the good days, and joy in the more difficult days. It's this faith that has helped us to not fear bad news, but TRUST the Lord to care for us. It's this faith that helped me survive these last 17 months.

Kara continues to write in her blog, "Maybe I'm on a journey, and the journey is more beautiful than any of us can comprehend. " And I think she's right. What a beautiful journey we've been on. 

Dad had another appointment with his Oncologist, Dr. Fleener, on Tuesday and she is so thrilled with how well he is doing. We have scheduled another MRI in about a month. We are so incredibly hopeful that the treatments have continued to work to stop any tumor growth! Dad's last round of chemo was really tough, and after talking with Dr. Fleener, she feels as though this is just a cumulative effect of the drugs on Dad's body. So for now, we work on stopping the side effects before they start. We are so hopeful that if Dad's next MRI looks good, we can discuss reducing treatments and having more time between MRI's. We are so so so incredibly hopeful!

I can't say enough wonderful things about Dad's doctor, Dr. Fleener. I feel as though God so perfectly put her in our path. I joke often that she is the 4th daughter in our family, as we have come to love her as if she is a Glenz. We trust her judgment, and more importantly, Dad trust her. She ends Dad's appointment with giving him a hug, and telling him she loves him. We are so blessed to have found her and all of the nurses at the Cancer Clinic in Bryan. 

'Run For The Rose' Update: We currently have 84 team members and have raised $3,805 towards brain cancer research. Talk about a FULL heart! I just know that in my lifetime I will see a CURE, and I will be able to witness other families receive a diagnosis of brain cancer and be filled with FAITH for healing. 

Continue the prayers, as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer


Run For The Rose: If you would you like to join our team or make a donation, please visit our team page http://runfortherose.racepartner.com/run-for-the-rose/bthobraincancer. If you have any questions or would like to purchase a 'Team Lar' t-shirt, please send me an email (glenzwhitney@gmail.com).