Loud and Clear. Dad Update 5/13/2016

Some days I want to just yell, "Yes God I get it, I'm hearing you LOUD and CLEAR." And this week, I've experienced that moment more than once.

On Tuesday, I opened my devotional to read- "Thank Me for your problems." Apparently, God was doing a little foreshadowing, because the day ahead was one filled with many problems, and unfortunately, some tears. 

I received a call Tuesday from Dad's doctor's office stating that Humana did not want to approve the MRI next week because it was too close to the last MRI, and instead schedule it in June. I'm not exactly sure at what point insurance companies became more knowledgeable than an Oncologist, but apparently that is the world we are living in. Many times involving the patient in these issues can make the approval process go much faster, and must smoother- and since I've experienced one, two, maybe 50 phone calls with insurance companies, Dad's doctor knows that I am more than willing to help with the process.

Let's just say, 30 minutes later, a customer service representative from Humana yelling at me "hold on, hold on, hold on...", the MRI was approved. 

"Thank Me for your problems."
"Thank Me for your problems."

I repeated that sentence over and over again on Tuesday, as the day continued with more phone calls with insurance companies (along with writing one formal complaint and one appeal), and then a lot of adult like things that I had to take care of for myself- new tires, payment for knee surgery...

Let's just say, after the second call with insurance, and as tears streamed down my face with pure frustration at the entire insurance process, all I could think about was "Thank Me for your problems."

God, I'm really trying. 

And as a couple of days have passed since that awful Tuesday, I opened my devotional today to read: "Be on the lookout for what I am doing in your life. Worship Me by living close to Me, thanking Me in all circumstances."

I hear you loud and clear. 

I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking ahead to Dad's next MRI, wondering what it will show and thinking of our next steps, if in fact the cancer has returned- add on the stress of insurance companies and I'm sure my blood pressure is at some extreme level. 

Not to mention, my outlet throughout Dad's diagnosis has been running- as I've joked many times that it has "saved" me these last 2 years, and a few weeks ago I found out that I have significantly torn my meniscus while training for a half marathon. I was sad, disappointed, and (for lack of a better word) just bummed. But I'm trying to remember, "Thank Me for your problems."

I'll be having knee surgery next week, following Dad's MRI results, and I struggle with if that is the right time for the surgery- because IF the MRI is not good, will we need to see a new doctor right away? Will Dad start a new treatment following the MRI? What if...? What if...? What if...?

Honestly, it all drives me crazy. 

"Thank Me for your problems."

And with my mind going in all directions, concerned about it all, I remind myself of one of my favorite devotionals, and make myself read it over and over again this morning.

"Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you...You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights...But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow...If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb...Walk by faith, not my sight..."

Y'all, I'm really trying to follow that and be reminded to be THANKFUL for my problems. It is helpful that Dad has been feeling better- still tired and worn out, but no new headaches, or increase in blood pressure. Just seeing him up and going more has been such a blessing, and I can't help but think that it's due to so many thinking and praying for him during this journey. We are so HOPEFUL that he is going to BEAT this. 

There was also some exciting news out of the brain cancer community yesterday:
http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/bold-cancer-treatment-granted-breakthrough-status/

Last year, CBS featured a story on the polio virus being used to beat Glioblastoma- and now, the FDA has declared this treatment "breakthrough" status and is in the process of fast-tracking the treatment. This gives us even more HOPE. 

As the day of Dad's MRI quickly approaches, we are asking more than ever for prayers that the treatments are working for Dad and the MRI appears stable. We are asking for calmness and peace for us during the waiting time, and prayers that IF the tumor has returned, we are able to make the best decision possible for our family.

Thank you all for your continued prayers during this difficult time for us- as we continue fighting to BTHO Brain Cancer!